+++ /dev/null
-\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND\r
-\r
- Lewis Carroll\r
-\r
- THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER I\r
-\r
- Down the Rabbit-Hole\r
-\r
-\r
- Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister\r
-on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had\r
-peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no\r
-pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'\r
-thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'\r
-\r
- So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,\r
-for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether\r
-the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble\r
-of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White\r
-Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.\r
-\r
- There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice\r
-think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to\r
-itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought\r
-it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have\r
-wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);\r
-but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-\r
-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to\r
-her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never\r
-before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to\r
-take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the\r
-field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop\r
-down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.\r
-\r
- In another moment down went Alice after it, never once\r
-considering how in the world she was to get out again.\r
-\r
- The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,\r
-and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a\r
-moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself\r
-falling down a very deep well.\r
-\r
- Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she\r
-had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to\r
-wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look\r
-down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to\r
-see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and\r
-noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;\r
-here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She\r
-took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was\r
-labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it\r
-was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing\r
-somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she\r
-fell past it.\r
-\r
- `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I\r
-shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll\r
-all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,\r
-even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely\r
-true.)\r
-\r
- Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I\r
-wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.\r
-`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let\r
-me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,\r
-you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her\r
-lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good\r
-opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to\r
-listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,\r
-that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude\r
-or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,\r
-or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to\r
-say.)\r
-\r
- Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right\r
-THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the\r
-people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I\r
-think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this\r
-time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall\r
-have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.\r
-Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried\r
-to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling\r
-through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what\r
-an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll\r
-never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'\r
-\r
- Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon\r
-began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I\r
-should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember\r
-her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were\r
-down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but\r
-you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.\r
-But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get\r
-rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of\r
-way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do\r
-bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either\r
-question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt\r
-that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she\r
-was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very\r
-earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a\r
-bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of\r
-sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.\r
-\r
- Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a\r
-moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her\r
-was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in\r
-sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost:\r
-away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it\r
-say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late\r
-it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the\r
-corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found\r
-herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps\r
-hanging from the roof.\r
-\r
- There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;\r
-and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the\r
-other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,\r
-wondering how she was ever to get out again.\r
-\r
- Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of\r
-solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,\r
-and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the\r
-doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or\r
-the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of\r
-them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low\r
-curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little\r
-door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key\r
-in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!\r
-\r
- Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small\r
-passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and\r
-looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.\r
-How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about\r
-among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but\r
-she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if\r
-my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of\r
-very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish\r
-I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only\r
-know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things\r
-had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few\r
-things indeed were really impossible.\r
-\r
- There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she\r
-went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on\r
-it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like\r
-telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which\r
-certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck\r
-of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'\r
-beautifully printed on it in large letters.\r
-\r
- It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little\r
-Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look\r
-first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';\r
-for she had read several nice little histories about children who\r
-had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant\r
-things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules\r
-their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker\r
-will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your\r
-finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had\r
-never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked\r
-`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or\r
-later.\r
-\r
- However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured\r
-to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort\r
-of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast\r
-turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished\r
-it off.\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
- `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up\r
-like a telescope.'\r
-\r
- And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and\r
-her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right\r
-size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.\r
-First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was\r
-going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about\r
-this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my\r
-going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be\r
-like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is\r
-like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember\r
-ever having seen such a thing.\r
-\r
- After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided\r
-on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when\r
-she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden\r
-key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she\r
-could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly\r
-through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the\r
-legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had\r
-tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and\r
-cried.\r
-\r
- `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to\r
-herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'\r
-She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very\r
-seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so\r
-severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered\r
-trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game\r
-of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious\r
-child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no\r
-use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why,\r
-there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable\r
-person!'\r
-\r
- Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under\r
-the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on\r
-which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.\r
-`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,\r
-I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep\r
-under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I\r
-don't care which happens!'\r
-\r
- She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which\r
-way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to\r
-feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to\r
-find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally\r
-happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the\r
-way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,\r
-that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the\r
-common way.\r
-\r
- So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER II\r
-\r
- The Pool of Tears\r
-\r
-\r
- `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much\r
-surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good\r
-English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that\r
-ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her\r
-feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so\r
-far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on\r
-your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't\r
-be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself\r
-about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be\r
-kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the\r
-way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of\r
-boots every Christmas.'\r
-\r
- And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.\r
-`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll\r
-seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the\r
-directions will look!\r
-\r
- ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.\r
- HEARTHRUG,\r
- NEAR THE FENDER,\r
- (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).\r
-\r
-Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'\r
-\r
- Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in\r
-fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took\r
-up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.\r
-\r
- Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one\r
-side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get\r
-through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to\r
-cry again.\r
-\r
- `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great\r
-girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in\r
-this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all\r
-the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool\r
-all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the\r
-hall.\r
-\r
- After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the\r
-distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.\r
-It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a\r
-pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the\r
-other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to\r
-himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she\r
-be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate\r
-that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit\r
-came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,\r
-sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid\r
-gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard\r
-as he could go.\r
-\r
- Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very\r
-hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:\r
-`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday\r
-things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in\r
-the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this\r
-morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little\r
-different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in\r
-the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began\r
-thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age\r
-as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of\r
-them.\r
-\r
- `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such\r
-long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm\r
-sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,\r
-oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,\r
-and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the\r
-things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve,\r
-and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!\r
-I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the\r
-Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.\r
-London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,\r
-and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been\r
-changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'\r
-and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,\r
-and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and\r
-strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--\r
-\r
- `How doth the little crocodile\r
- Improve his shining tail,\r
- And pour the waters of the Nile\r
- On every golden scale!\r
-\r
- `How cheerfully he seems to grin,\r
- How neatly spread his claws,\r
- And welcome little fishes in\r
- With gently smiling jaws!'\r
-\r
- `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and\r
-her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel\r
-after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little\r
-house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so\r
-many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm\r
-Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their\r
-heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look\r
-up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I\r
-like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down\r
-here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a\r
-sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads\r
-down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'\r
-\r
- As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was\r
-surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little\r
-white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done\r
-that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up\r
-and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,\r
-as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,\r
-and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the\r
-cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it\r
-hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.\r
-\r
-`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at\r
-the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in\r
-existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed\r
-back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut\r
-again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as\r
-before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,\r
-`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare\r
-it's too bad, that it is!'\r
-\r
- As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another\r
-moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first\r
-idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that\r
-case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had\r
-been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general\r
-conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find\r
-a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in\r
-the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and\r
-behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that\r
-she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine\r
-feet high.\r
-\r
- `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,\r
-trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I\r
-suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer\r
-thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'\r
-\r
- Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a\r
-little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at\r
-first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then\r
-she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that\r
-it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.\r
-\r
- `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this\r
-mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should\r
-think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in\r
-trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of\r
-this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'\r
-(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:\r
-she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having\r
-seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a\r
-mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather\r
-inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little\r
-eyes, but it said nothing.\r
-\r
- `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I\r
-daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the\r
-Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had\r
-no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she\r
-began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in\r
-her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the\r
-water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg\r
-your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the\r
-poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'\r
-\r
- `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate\r
-voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'\r
-\r
- `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be\r
-angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:\r
-I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.\r
-She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,\r
-as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so\r
-nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and\r
-she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital\r
-one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,\r
-for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt\r
-certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any\r
-more if you'd rather not.'\r
-\r
- `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end\r
-of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family\r
-always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear\r
-the name again!'\r
-\r
- `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the\r
-subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'\r
-The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is\r
-such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!\r
-A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly\r
-brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and\r
-it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I\r
-can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you\r
-know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!\r
-He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a\r
-sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the\r
-Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and\r
-making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.\r
-\r
- So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back\r
-again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't\r
-like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam\r
-slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice\r
-thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to\r
-the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll\r
-understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'\r
-\r
- It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded\r
-with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a\r
-Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious\r
-creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the\r
-shore.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER III\r
-\r
- A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale\r
-\r
-\r
- They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the\r
-bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their\r
-fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and\r
-uncomfortable.\r
-\r
- The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they\r
-had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed\r
-quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with\r
-them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had\r
-quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,\r
-and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';\r
-and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,\r
-and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no\r
-more to be said.\r
-\r
- At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among\r
-them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL\r
-soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large\r
-ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes\r
-anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad\r
-cold if she did not get dry very soon.\r
-\r
- `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?\r
-This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!\r
-"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was\r
-soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been\r
-of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and\r
-Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'\r
-\r
- `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.\r
-\r
- `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very\r
-politely: `Did you speak?'\r
-\r
- `Not I!' said the Lory hastily.\r
-\r
- `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and\r
-Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:\r
-and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found\r
-it advisable--"'\r
-\r
- `Found WHAT?' said the Duck.\r
-\r
- `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you\r
-know what "it" means.'\r
-\r
- `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said\r
-the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,\r
-what did the archbishop find?'\r
-\r
- The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,\r
-`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William\r
-and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was\r
-moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you\r
-getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it\r
-spoke.\r
-\r
- `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't\r
-seem to dry me at all.'\r
-\r
- `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I\r
-move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more\r
-energetic remedies--'\r
-\r
- `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of\r
-half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do\r
-either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:\r
-some of the other birds tittered audibly.\r
-\r
- `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,\r
-`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'\r
-\r
- `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much\r
-to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY\r
-ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.\r
-\r
- `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'\r
-(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter\r
-day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)\r
-\r
- First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the\r
-exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party\r
-were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One,\r
-two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,\r
-and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know\r
-when the race was over. However, when they had been running half\r
-an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called\r
-out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,\r
-and asking, `But who has won?'\r
-\r
- This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of\r
-thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon\r
-its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,\r
-in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At\r
-last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have\r
-prizes.'\r
-\r
- `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices\r
-asked.\r
-\r
- `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with\r
-one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,\r
-calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'\r
-\r
- Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand\r
-in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt\r
-water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.\r
-There was exactly one a-piece all round.\r
-\r
- `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.\r
-\r
- `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have\r
-you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.\r
-\r
- `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.\r
-\r
- `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.\r
-\r
- Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo\r
-solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of\r
-this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short\r
-speech, they all cheered.\r
-\r
- Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked\r
-so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not\r
-think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,\r
-looking as solemn as she could.\r
-\r
- The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise\r
-and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not\r
-taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on\r
-the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again\r
-in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.\r
-\r
- `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,\r
-`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half\r
-afraid that it would be offended again.\r
-\r
- `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to\r
-Alice, and sighing.\r
-\r
- `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with\r
-wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And\r
-she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so\r
-that her idea of the tale was something like this:--\r
-\r
- `Fury said to a\r
- mouse, That he\r
- met in the\r
- house,\r
- "Let us\r
- both go to\r
- law: I will\r
- prosecute\r
- YOU. --Come,\r
- I'll take no\r
- denial; We\r
- must have a\r
- trial: For\r
- really this\r
- morning I've\r
- nothing\r
- to do."\r
- Said the\r
- mouse to the\r
- cur, "Such\r
- a trial,\r
- dear Sir,\r
- With\r
- no jury\r
- or judge,\r
- would be\r
- wasting\r
- our\r
- breath."\r
- "I'll be\r
- judge, I'll\r
- be jury,"\r
- Said\r
- cunning\r
- old Fury:\r
- "I'll\r
- try the\r
- whole\r
- cause,\r
- and\r
- condemn\r
- you\r
- to\r
- death."'\r
-\r
-\r
- `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.\r
-`What are you thinking of?'\r
-\r
- `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to\r
-the fifth bend, I think?'\r
-\r
- `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.\r
-\r
- `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and\r
-looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'\r
-\r
- `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up\r
-and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'\r
-\r
- `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily\r
-offended, you know!'\r
-\r
- The Mouse only growled in reply.\r
-\r
- `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after\r
-it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but\r
-the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little\r
-quicker.\r
-\r
- `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it\r
-was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of\r
-saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you\r
-never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the\r
-young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the\r
-patience of an oyster!'\r
-\r
- `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,\r
-addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'\r
-\r
- `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'\r
-said the Lory.\r
-\r
- Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about\r
-her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for\r
-catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her\r
-after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look\r
-at it!'\r
-\r
- This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.\r
-Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began\r
-wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be\r
-getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary\r
-called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my\r
-dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts\r
-they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.\r
-\r
- `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a\r
-melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm\r
-sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I\r
-wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice\r
-began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.\r
-In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of\r
-footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping\r
-that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to\r
-finish his story.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER IV\r
-\r
- The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill\r
-\r
-\r
- It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and\r
-looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;\r
-and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess!\r
-Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me\r
-executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have\r
-dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was\r
-looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she\r
-very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were\r
-nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her\r
-swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and\r
-the little door, had vanished completely.\r
-\r
- Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,\r
-and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE\r
-you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of\r
-gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened\r
-that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without\r
-trying to explain the mistake it had made.\r
-\r
- `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.\r
-`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd\r
-better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'\r
-As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door\r
-of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'\r
-engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried\r
-upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,\r
-and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and\r
-gloves.\r
-\r
- `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going\r
-messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on\r
-messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that\r
-would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready\r
-for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see\r
-that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went\r
-on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering\r
-people about like that!'\r
-\r
- By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with\r
-a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two\r
-or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and\r
-a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when\r
-her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-\r
-glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'\r
-but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know\r
-SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,\r
-`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this\r
-bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for\r
-really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'\r
-\r
- It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:\r
-before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing\r
-against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being\r
-broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself\r
-`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I\r
-can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so\r
-much!'\r
-\r
- Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and\r
-growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in\r
-another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried\r
-the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the\r
-other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and,\r
-as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one\r
-foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,\r
-whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'\r
-\r
- Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full\r
-effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,\r
-and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting\r
-out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.\r
-\r
- `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one\r
-wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about\r
-by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that\r
-rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,\r
-this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!\r
-When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing\r
-never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There\r
-ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when\r
-I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a\r
-sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more\r
-HERE.'\r
-\r
- `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I\r
-am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-\r
--but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like\r
-THAT!'\r
-\r
- `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you\r
-learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no\r
-room at all for any lesson-books!'\r
-\r
- And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,\r
-and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few\r
-minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.\r
-\r
- `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves\r
-this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the\r
-stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and\r
-she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she\r
-was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no\r
-reason to be afraid of it.\r
-\r
- Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;\r
-but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed\r
-hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it\r
-say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'\r
-\r
- `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she\r
-fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly\r
-spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not\r
-get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,\r
-and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was\r
-just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something\r
-of the sort.\r
-\r
- Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are\r
-you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then\r
-I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'\r
-\r
- `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here!\r
-Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)\r
-\r
- `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'\r
-\r
- `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')\r
-\r
- `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it\r
-fills the whole window!'\r
-\r
- `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'\r
-\r
- `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it\r
-away!'\r
-\r
- There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear\r
-whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer\r
-honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at\r
-last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in\r
-the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more\r
-sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there\r
-must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for\r
-pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I\r
-don't want to stay in here any longer!'\r
-\r
- She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at\r
-last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a\r
-good many voice all talking together: she made out the words:\r
-`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;\r
-Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up\r
-at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half\r
-high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-\r
--Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind\r
-that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud\r
-crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go\r
-down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,\r
-then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to\r
-go down the chimney!'\r
-\r
- `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said\r
-Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!\r
-I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is\r
-narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'\r
-\r
- She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and\r
-waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what\r
-sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close\r
-above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one\r
-sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.\r
-\r
- The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes\r
-Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the\r
-hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold\r
-up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?\r
-What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'\r
-\r
- Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'\r
-thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm\r
-better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know\r
-is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes\r
-like a sky-rocket!'\r
-\r
- `So you did, old fellow!' said the others.\r
-\r
- `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and\r
-Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set\r
-Dinah at you!'\r
-\r
- There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to\r
-herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any\r
-sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they\r
-began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A\r
-barrowful will do, to begin with.'\r
-\r
- `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to\r
-doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came\r
-rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.\r
-`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,\r
-`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead\r
-silence.\r
-\r
- Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all\r
-turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright\r
-idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she\r
-thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it\r
-can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I\r
-suppose.'\r
-\r
- So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find\r
-that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small\r
-enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and\r
-found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.\r
-The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by\r
-two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.\r
-They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she\r
-ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a\r
-thick wood.\r
-\r
- `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she\r
-wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;\r
-and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.\r
-I think that will be the best plan.'\r
-\r
- It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and\r
-simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the\r
-smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering\r
-about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over\r
-her head made her look up in a great hurry.\r
-\r
- An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round\r
-eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.\r
-`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried\r
-hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the\r
-time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it\r
-would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.\r
-\r
- Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of\r
-stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped\r
-into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,\r
-and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice\r
-dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run\r
-over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy\r
-made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in\r
-its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very\r
-like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every\r
-moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle\r
-again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the\r
-stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long\r
-way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat\r
-down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its\r
-mouth, and its great eyes half shut.\r
-\r
- This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;\r
-so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out\r
-of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the\r
-distance.\r
-\r
- `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she\r
-leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself\r
-with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks\r
-very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh\r
-dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let\r
-me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or\r
-drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'\r
-\r
- The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round\r
-her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see\r
-anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under\r
-the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,\r
-about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under\r
-it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her\r
-that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.\r
-\r
- She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of\r
-the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large\r
-caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,\r
-quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice\r
-of her or of anything else.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER V\r
-\r
- Advice from a Caterpillar\r
-\r
-\r
- The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in\r
-silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its\r
-mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.\r
-\r
- `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice\r
-replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--\r
-at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think\r
-I must have been changed several times since then.'\r
-\r
- `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.\r
-`Explain yourself!'\r
-\r
- `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because\r
-I'm not myself, you see.'\r
-\r
- `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very\r
-politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and\r
-being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'\r
-\r
- `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but\r
-when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you\r
-know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll\r
-feel it a little queer, won't you?'\r
-\r
- `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;\r
-`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'\r
-\r
- `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'\r
-\r
- Which brought them back again to the beginning of the\r
-conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's\r
-making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,\r
-very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'\r
-\r
- `Why?' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not\r
-think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in\r
-a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.\r
-\r
- `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something\r
-important to say!'\r
-\r
- This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back\r
-again.\r
-\r
- `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as\r
-she could.\r
-\r
- `No,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else\r
-to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth\r
-hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but\r
-at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth\r
-again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'\r
-\r
- `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as\r
-I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'\r
-\r
- `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it\r
-all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.\r
-\r
- `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- Alice folded her hands, and began:--\r
-\r
- `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,\r
- `And your hair has become very white;\r
- And yet you incessantly stand on your head--\r
- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'\r
-\r
- `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,\r
- `I feared it might injure the brain;\r
- But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,\r
- Why, I do it again and again.'\r
-\r
- `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,\r
- And have grown most uncommonly fat;\r
- Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--\r
- Pray, what is the reason of that?'\r
-\r
- `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,\r
- `I kept all my limbs very supple\r
- By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--\r
- Allow me to sell you a couple?'\r
-\r
- `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak\r
- For anything tougher than suet;\r
- Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--\r
- Pray how did you manage to do it?'\r
-\r
- `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,\r
- And argued each case with my wife;\r
- And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,\r
- Has lasted the rest of my life.'\r
-\r
- `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose\r
- That your eye was as steady as ever;\r
- Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--\r
- What made you so awfully clever?'\r
-\r
- `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'\r
- Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!\r
- Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?\r
- Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'\r
-\r
-\r
- `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the\r
-words have got altered.'\r
-\r
- `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar\r
-decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.\r
-\r
- The Caterpillar was the first to speak.\r
-\r
- `What size do you want to be?' it asked.\r
-\r
- `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;\r
-`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'\r
-\r
- `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in\r
-her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.\r
-\r
- `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.\r
-\r
- `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you\r
-wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched\r
-height to be.'\r
-\r
- `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar\r
-angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three\r
-inches high).\r
-\r
- `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.\r
-And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so\r
-easily offended!'\r
-\r
- `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it\r
-put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.\r
-\r
- This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.\r
-In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its\r
-mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got\r
-down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely\r
-remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and\r
-the other side will make you grow shorter.'\r
-\r
- `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to\r
-herself.\r
-\r
- `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had\r
-asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.\r
-\r
- Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a\r
-minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as\r
-it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.\r
-However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they\r
-would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.\r
-\r
- `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a\r
-little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment\r
-she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her\r
-foot!\r
-\r
- She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but\r
-she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking\r
-rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.\r
-Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was\r
-hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and\r
-managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.\r
-\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * *\r
-\r
- * * * * * * *\r
-\r
- `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of\r
-delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she\r
-found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could\r
-see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which\r
-seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay\r
-far below her.\r
-\r
- `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where\r
-HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I\r
-can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no\r
-result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the\r
-distant green leaves.\r
-\r
- As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her\r
-head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted\r
-to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,\r
-like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a\r
-graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which\r
-she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she\r
-had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a\r
-hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating\r
-her violently with its wings.\r
-\r
- `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.\r
-\r
- `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'\r
-\r
- `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more\r
-subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every\r
-way, and nothing seems to suit them!'\r
-\r
- `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said\r
-Alice.\r
-\r
- `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've\r
-tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but\r
-those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'\r
-\r
- Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no\r
-use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.\r
-\r
- `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the\r
-Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and\r
-day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'\r
-\r
- `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was\r
-beginning to see its meaning.\r
-\r
- `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued\r
-the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was\r
-thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come\r
-wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'\r
-\r
- `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm\r
-a--'\r
-\r
- `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're\r
-trying to invent something!'\r
-\r
- `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she\r
-remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.\r
-\r
- `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the\r
-deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my\r
-time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a\r
-serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be\r
-telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'\r
-\r
- `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very\r
-truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as\r
-serpents do, you know.'\r
-\r
- `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why\r
-then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'\r
-\r
- This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent\r
-for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of\r
-adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and\r
-what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a\r
-serpent?'\r
-\r
- `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm\r
-not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't\r
-want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'\r
-\r
- `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it\r
-settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the\r
-trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled\r
-among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and\r
-untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the\r
-pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very\r
-carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and\r
-growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had\r
-succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.\r
-\r
- It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,\r
-that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a\r
-few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come,\r
-there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes\r
-are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to\r
-another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next\r
-thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be\r
-done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an\r
-open place, with a little house in it about four feet high.\r
-`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come\r
-upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their\r
-wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did\r
-not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself\r
-down to nine inches high.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER VI\r
-\r
- Pig and Pepper\r
-\r
-\r
- For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and\r
-wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came\r
-running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman\r
-because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,\r
-she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door\r
-with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,\r
-with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,\r
-Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their\r
-heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and\r
-crept a little way out of the wood to listen.\r
-\r
- The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great\r
-letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to\r
-the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An\r
-invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman\r
-repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the\r
-words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess\r
-to play croquet.'\r
-\r
- Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled\r
-together.\r
-\r
- Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into\r
-the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped\r
-out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the\r
-ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.\r
-\r
- Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.\r
-\r
- `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and\r
-that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the\r
-door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise\r
-inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was\r
-a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling\r
-and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish\r
-or kettle had been broken to pieces.\r
-\r
- `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'\r
-\r
- `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went\r
-on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For\r
-instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let\r
-you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time\r
-he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But\r
-perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so\r
-VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might\r
-answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.\r
-\r
- `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'\r
-\r
- At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate\r
-came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just\r
-grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees\r
-behind him.\r
-\r
- `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,\r
-exactly as if nothing had happened.\r
-\r
- `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.\r
-\r
- `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the\r
-first question, you know.'\r
-\r
- It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so.\r
-`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the\r
-creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'\r
-\r
- The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for\r
-repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he\r
-said, `on and off, for days and days.'\r
-\r
- `But what am I to do?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.\r
-\r
- `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:\r
-`he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.\r
-\r
- The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of\r
-smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a\r
-three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was\r
-leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to\r
-be full of soup.\r
-\r
- `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to\r
-herself, as well as she could for sneezing.\r
-\r
- There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the\r
-Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was\r
-sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The\r
-only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,\r
-and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from\r
-ear to ear.\r
-\r
- `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for\r
-she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to\r
-speak first, `why your cat grins like that?'\r
-\r
- `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.\r
-Pig!'\r
-\r
- She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice\r
-quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed\r
-to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on\r
-again:--\r
-\r
- `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I\r
-didn't know that cats COULD grin.'\r
-\r
- `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'\r
-\r
- `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,\r
-feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.\r
-\r
- `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'\r
-\r
- Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought\r
-it would be as well to introduce some other subject of\r
-conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took\r
-the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work\r
-throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby\r
---the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,\r
-plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when\r
-they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it\r
-was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.\r
-\r
- `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up\r
-and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS\r
-nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very\r
-nearly carried it off.\r
-\r
- `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a\r
-hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it\r
-does.'\r
-\r
- `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very\r
-glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her\r
-knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day\r
-and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn\r
-round on its axis--'\r
-\r
- `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'\r
-\r
- Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant\r
-to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and\r
-seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four\r
-hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--'\r
-\r
- `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide\r
-figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,\r
-singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a\r
-violent shake at the end of every line:\r
-\r
- `Speak roughly to your little boy,\r
- And beat him when he sneezes:\r
- He only does it to annoy,\r
- Because he knows it teases.'\r
-\r
- CHORUS.\r
-\r
- (In which the cook and the baby joined):--\r
-\r
- `Wow! wow! wow!'\r
-\r
- While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept\r
-tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing\r
-howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--\r
-\r
- `I speak severely to my boy,\r
- I beat him when he sneezes;\r
- For he can thoroughly enjoy\r
- The pepper when he pleases!'\r
-\r
- CHORUS.\r
-\r
- `Wow! wow! wow!'\r
-\r
- `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said\r
-to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and\r
-get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of\r
-the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,\r
-but it just missed her.\r
-\r
- Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-\r
-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all\r
-directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor\r
-little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,\r
-and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,\r
-so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much\r
-as she could do to hold it.\r
-\r
- As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,\r
-(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep\r
-tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its\r
-undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I\r
-don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure\r
-to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it\r
-behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing\r
-grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't\r
-grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing\r
-yourself.'\r
-\r
- The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into\r
-its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no\r
-doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout\r
-than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for\r
-a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at\r
-all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked\r
-into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.\r
-\r
- No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig,\r
-my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do\r
-with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or\r
-grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for\r
-some while in silence.\r
-\r
- Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I\r
-to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted\r
-again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some\r
-alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was\r
-neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be\r
-quite absurd for her to carry it further.\r
-\r
- So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to\r
-see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,'\r
-she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:\r
-but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began\r
-thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as\r
-pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right\r
-way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing\r
-the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.\r
-\r
- The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-\r
-natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great\r
-many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.\r
-\r
- `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at\r
-all know whether it would like the name: however, it only\r
-grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought\r
-Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I\r
-ought to go from here?'\r
-\r
- `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said\r
-the Cat.\r
-\r
- `I don't much care where--' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.\r
-\r
- `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.\r
-\r
- `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk\r
-long enough.'\r
-\r
- Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another\r
-question. `What sort of people live about here?'\r
-\r
- `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,\r
-`lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,\r
-`lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'\r
-\r
- `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.\r
-\r
- `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here.\r
-I'm mad. You're mad.'\r
-\r
- `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'\r
-\r
- Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on\r
-`And how do you know that you're mad?'\r
-\r
- `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant\r
-that?'\r
-\r
- `I suppose so,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's\r
-angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm\r
-pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'\r
-\r
- `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet\r
-with the Queen to-day?'\r
-\r
- `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been\r
-invited yet.'\r
-\r
- `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.\r
-\r
- Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used\r
-to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place\r
-where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.\r
-\r
- `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd\r
-nearly forgotten to ask.'\r
-\r
- `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had\r
-come back in a natural way.\r
-\r
- `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.\r
-\r
- Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it\r
-did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the\r
-direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen\r
-hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be\r
-much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be\r
-raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said\r
-this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a\r
-branch of a tree.\r
-\r
- `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.\r
-\r
- `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep\r
-appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'\r
-\r
- `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite\r
-slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the\r
-grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.\r
-\r
- `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;\r
-`but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever\r
-say in my life!'\r
-\r
- She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the\r
-house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,\r
-because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was\r
-thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not\r
-like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand\r
-bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even\r
-then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself\r
-`Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd\r
-gone to see the Hatter instead!'\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER VII\r
-\r
- A Mad Tea-Party\r
-\r
-\r
- There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,\r
-and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a\r
-Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two\r
-were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the\r
-talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'\r
-thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'\r
-\r
- The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded\r
-together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried\r
-out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said\r
-Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one\r
-end of the table.\r
-\r
- `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.\r
-\r
- Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it\r
-but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.\r
-\r
- `There isn't any,' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice\r
-angrily.\r
-\r
- `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being\r
-invited,' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a\r
-great many more than three.'\r
-\r
- `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been\r
-looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was\r
-his first speech.\r
-\r
- `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said\r
-with some severity; `it's very rude.'\r
-\r
- The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all\r
-he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'\r
-\r
- `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad\r
-they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she\r
-added aloud.\r
-\r
- `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'\r
-said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `Exactly so,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.\r
-\r
- `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what\r
-I say--that's the same thing, you know.'\r
-\r
- `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just\r
-as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat\r
-what I see"!'\r
-\r
- `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I\r
-like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'\r
-\r
- `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to\r
-be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the\r
-same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'\r
-\r
- `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the\r
-conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,\r
-while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and\r
-writing-desks, which wasn't much.\r
-\r
- The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of\r
-the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his\r
-watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking\r
-it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.\r
-\r
- Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'\r
-\r
- `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter\r
-wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March\r
-Hare.\r
-\r
- `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.\r
-\r
- `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter\r
-grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'\r
-\r
- The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then\r
-he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he\r
-could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It\r
-was the BEST butter, you know.'\r
-\r
- Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.\r
-`What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the\r
-month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'\r
-\r
- `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell\r
-you what year it is?'\r
-\r
- `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's\r
-because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'\r
-\r
- `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to\r
-have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.\r
-`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she\r
-could.\r
-\r
- `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured\r
-a little hot tea upon its nose.\r
-\r
- The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without\r
-opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to\r
-remark myself.'\r
-\r
- `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to\r
-Alice again.\r
-\r
- `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'\r
-\r
- `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- `Nor I,' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better\r
-with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that\r
-have no answers.'\r
-\r
- `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you\r
-wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.'\r
-\r
- `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head\r
-contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'\r
-\r
- `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to\r
-beat time when I learn music.'\r
-\r
- `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand\r
-beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do\r
-almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose\r
-it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:\r
-you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the\r
-clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'\r
-\r
- (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a\r
-whisper.)\r
-\r
- `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:\r
-`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'\r
-\r
- `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep\r
-it to half-past one as long as you liked.'\r
-\r
- `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.\r
-\r
- The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied.\r
-`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'\r
-(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the\r
-great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing\r
-\r
- "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!\r
- How I wonder what you're at!"\r
-\r
-You know the song, perhaps?'\r
-\r
- `I've heard something like it,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--\r
-\r
- "Up above the world you fly,\r
- Like a tea-tray in the sky.\r
- Twinkle, twinkle--"'\r
-\r
-Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep\r
-`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that\r
-they had to pinch it to make it stop.\r
-\r
- `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,\r
-`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the\r
-time! Off with his head!"'\r
-\r
- `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.\r
-\r
- `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,\r
-`he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'\r
-\r
- A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so\r
-many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.\r
-\r
- `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always\r
-tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'\r
-\r
- `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.'\r
-\r
- `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice\r
-ventured to ask.\r
-\r
- `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,\r
-yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady\r
-tells us a story.'\r
-\r
- `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at\r
-the proposal.\r
-\r
- `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up,\r
-Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.\r
-\r
- The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he\r
-said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows\r
-were saying.'\r
-\r
- `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.\r
-\r
- `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep\r
-again before it's done.'\r
-\r
- `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the\r
-Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,\r
-Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'\r
-\r
- `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great\r
-interest in questions of eating and drinking.\r
-\r
- `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a\r
-minute or two.\r
-\r
- `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently\r
-remarked; `they'd have been ill.'\r
-\r
- `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'\r
-\r
- Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways\r
-of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went\r
-on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'\r
-\r
- `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very\r
-earnestly.\r
-\r
- `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so\r
-I can't take more.'\r
-\r
- `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very\r
-easy to take MORE than nothing.'\r
-\r
- `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked\r
-triumphantly.\r
-\r
- Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped\r
-herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the\r
-Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the\r
-bottom of a well?'\r
-\r
- The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and\r
-then said, `It was a treacle-well.'\r
-\r
- `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but\r
-the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse\r
-sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the\r
-story for yourself.'\r
-\r
- `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt\r
-again. I dare say there may be ONE.'\r
-\r
- `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he\r
-consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they\r
-were learning to draw, you know--'\r
-\r
- `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.\r
-\r
- `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this\r
-time.\r
-\r
- `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move\r
-one place on.'\r
-\r
- He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the\r
-March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather\r
-unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the\r
-only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a\r
-good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset\r
-the milk-jug into his plate.\r
-\r
- Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began\r
-very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw\r
-the treacle from?'\r
-\r
- `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so\r
-I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,\r
-stupid?'\r
-\r
- `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not\r
-choosing to notice this last remark.\r
-\r
- `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'\r
-\r
- This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse\r
-go on for some time without interrupting it.\r
-\r
- `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and\r
-rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew\r
-all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'\r
-\r
- `Why with an M?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Why not?' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- Alice was silent.\r
-\r
- The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going\r
-off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up\r
-again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an\r
-M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--\r
-you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever\r
-see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'\r
-\r
- `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I\r
-don't think--'\r
-\r
- `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got\r
-up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep\r
-instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her\r
-going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that\r
-they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were\r
-trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.\r
-\r
- `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she\r
-picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I\r
-ever was at in all my life!'\r
-\r
- Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a\r
-door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought.\r
-`But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at\r
-once.' And in she went.\r
-\r
- Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the\r
-little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she\r
-said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and\r
-unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to\r
-work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her\r
-pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the\r
-little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the\r
-beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool\r
-fountains.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER VIII\r
-\r
- The Queen's Croquet-Ground\r
-\r
-\r
- A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the\r
-roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at\r
-it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious\r
-thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up\r
-to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go\r
-splashing paint over me like that!'\r
-\r
- `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged\r
-my elbow.'\r
-\r
- On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always\r
-lay the blame on others!'\r
-\r
- `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only\r
-yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'\r
-\r
- `What for?' said the one who had spoken first.\r
-\r
- `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.\r
-\r
- `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it\r
-was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'\r
-\r
- Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all\r
-the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as\r
-she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the\r
-others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.\r
-\r
- `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are\r
-painting those roses?'\r
-\r
- Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a\r
-low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to\r
-have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;\r
-and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads\r
-cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore\r
-she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously\r
-looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!'\r
-and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon\r
-their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice\r
-looked round, eager to see the Queen.\r
-\r
- First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped\r
-like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and\r
-feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were\r
-ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the\r
-soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were\r
-ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand\r
-in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next\r
-came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice\r
-recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous\r
-manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without\r
-noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the\r
-King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this\r
-grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.\r
-\r
- Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on\r
-her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember\r
-every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,\r
-what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people\r
-had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see\r
-it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.\r
-\r
- When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped\r
-and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'\r
-She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in\r
-reply.\r
-\r
- `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,\r
-turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'\r
-\r
- `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very\r
-politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of\r
-cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'\r
-\r
- `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three\r
-gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as\r
-they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs\r
-was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether\r
-they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her\r
-own children.\r
-\r
- `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.\r
-`It's no business of MINE.'\r
-\r
- The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her\r
-for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!\r
-Off--'\r
-\r
- `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the\r
-Queen was silent.\r
-\r
- The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said\r
-`Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'\r
-\r
- The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave\r
-`Turn them over!'\r
-\r
- The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.\r
-\r
- `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the\r
-three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the\r
-King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.\r
-\r
- `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.'\r
-And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you\r
-been doing here?'\r
-\r
- `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,\r
-going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'\r
-\r
- `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the\r
-roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,\r
-three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate\r
-gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.\r
-\r
- `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a\r
-large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered\r
-about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly\r
-marched off after the others.\r
-\r
- `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.\r
-\r
- `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers\r
-shouted in reply.\r
-\r
- `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'\r
-\r
- The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question\r
-was evidently meant for her.\r
-\r
- `Yes!' shouted Alice.\r
-\r
- `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the\r
-procession, wondering very much what would happen next.\r
-\r
- `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.\r
-She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously\r
-into her face.\r
-\r
- `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?'\r
-\r
- `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He\r
-looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised\r
-himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and\r
-whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'\r
-\r
- `What for?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.\r
-\r
- `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity.\r
-I said "What for?"'\r
-\r
- `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a\r
-little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a\r
-frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came\r
-rather late, and the Queen said--'\r
-\r
- `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,\r
-and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up\r
-against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or\r
-two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a\r
-curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and\r
-furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live\r
-flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to\r
-stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.\r
-\r
- The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her\r
-flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,\r
-comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,\r
-but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened\r
-out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it\r
-WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a\r
-puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:\r
-and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,\r
-it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled\r
-itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this,\r
-there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she\r
-wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers\r
-were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the\r
-ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very\r
-difficult game indeed.\r
-\r
- The players all played at once without waiting for turns,\r
-quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in\r
-a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went\r
-stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with\r
-her head!' about once in a minute.\r
-\r
- Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as\r
-yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might\r
-happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of\r
-me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great\r
-wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'\r
-\r
- She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering\r
-whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a\r
-curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at\r
-first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to\r
-be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I\r
-shall have somebody to talk to.'\r
-\r
- `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was\r
-mouth enough for it to speak with.\r
-\r
- Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no\r
-use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at\r
-least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,\r
-and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the\r
-game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The\r
-Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and\r
-no more of it appeared.\r
-\r
- `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather\r
-a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't\r
-hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in\r
-particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and\r
-you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;\r
-for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next\r
-walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have\r
-croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it\r
-saw mine coming!'\r
-\r
- `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.\r
-\r
- `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then\r
-she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so\r
-she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while\r
-finishing the game.'\r
-\r
- The Queen smiled and passed on.\r
-\r
- `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and\r
-looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.\r
-\r
- `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me\r
-to introduce it.'\r
-\r
- `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however,\r
-it may kiss my hand if it likes.'\r
-\r
- `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.\r
-\r
- `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me\r
-like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.\r
-\r
- `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in\r
-some book, but I don't remember where.'\r
-\r
- `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and\r
-he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I\r
-wish you would have this cat removed!'\r
-\r
- The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great\r
-or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking\r
-round.\r
-\r
- `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and\r
-he hurried off.\r
-\r
- Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game\r
-was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,\r
-screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three\r
-of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and\r
-she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in\r
-such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or\r
-not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.\r
-\r
- The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,\r
-which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one\r
-of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her\r
-flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where\r
-Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up\r
-into a tree.\r
-\r
- By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,\r
-the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:\r
-`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches\r
-are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away\r
-under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for\r
-a little more conversation with her friend.\r
-\r
- When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to\r
-find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute\r
-going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who\r
-were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,\r
-and looked very uncomfortable.\r
-\r
- The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to\r
-settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,\r
-though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed\r
-to make out exactly what they said.\r
-\r
- The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a\r
-head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had\r
-never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin\r
-at HIS time of life.\r
-\r
- The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be\r
-beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.\r
-\r
- The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about\r
-it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.\r
-(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so\r
-grave and anxious.)\r
-\r
- Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the\r
-Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.'\r
-\r
- `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch\r
-her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.\r
-\r
- The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,\r
-by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely\r
-disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and\r
-down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER IX\r
-\r
- The Mock Turtle's Story\r
-\r
-\r
- `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old\r
-thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately\r
-into Alice's, and they walked off together.\r
-\r
- Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and\r
-thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had\r
-made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.\r
-\r
- `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very\r
-hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT\r
-ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that\r
-makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at\r
-having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them\r
-sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar\r
-and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish\r
-people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you\r
-know--'\r
-\r
- She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a\r
-little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.\r
-`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you\r
-forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that\r
-is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'\r
-\r
- `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.\r
-\r
- `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a\r
-moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up\r
-closer to Alice's side as she spoke.\r
-\r
- Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,\r
-because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was\r
-exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,\r
-and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not\r
-like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.\r
-\r
- `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of\r
-keeping up the conversation a little.\r
-\r
- `'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh,\r
-'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'\r
-\r
- `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody\r
-minding their own business!'\r
-\r
- `Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,\r
-digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,\r
-`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the\r
-sounds will take care of themselves."'\r
-\r
- `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to\r
-herself.\r
-\r
- `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your\r
-waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm\r
-doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the\r
-experiment?'\r
-\r
- `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all\r
-anxious to have the experiment tried.\r
-\r
- `Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both\r
-bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock\r
-together."'\r
-\r
- `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.\r
-\r
- `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you\r
-have of putting things!'\r
-\r
- `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree\r
-to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near\r
-here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the\r
-less there is of yours."'\r
-\r
- `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this\r
-last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it\r
-is.'\r
-\r
- `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of\r
-that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put\r
-more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than\r
-what it might appear to others that what you were or might have\r
-been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared\r
-to them to be otherwise."'\r
-\r
- `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very\r
-politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it\r
-as you say it.'\r
-\r
- `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess\r
-replied, in a pleased tone.\r
-\r
- `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'\r
-said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you\r
-a present of everything I've said as yet.'\r
-\r
- `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't\r
-give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to\r
-say it out loud.\r
-\r
- `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her\r
-sharp little chin.\r
-\r
- `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was\r
-beginning to feel a little worried.\r
-\r
- `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to\r
-fly; and the m--'\r
-\r
- But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died\r
-away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the\r
-arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,\r
-and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,\r
-frowning like a thunderstorm.\r
-\r
- `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak\r
-voice.\r
-\r
- `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on\r
-the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,\r
-and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'\r
-\r
- The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.\r
-\r
- `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice\r
-was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her\r
-back to the croquet-ground.\r
-\r
- The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,\r
-and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,\r
-they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a\r
-moment's delay would cost them their lives.\r
-\r
- All the time they were playing the Queen never left off\r
-quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his\r
-head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were\r
-taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave\r
-off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour\r
-or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the\r
-King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of\r
-execution.\r
-\r
- Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to\r
-Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'\r
-\r
- `No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'\r
-\r
- `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.\r
-\r
- `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his\r
-history,'\r
-\r
- As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low\r
-voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come,\r
-THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite\r
-unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.\r
-\r
- They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the\r
-sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)\r
-`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to\r
-see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and\r
-see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,\r
-leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like\r
-the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would\r
-be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage\r
-Queen: so she waited.\r
-\r
- The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the\r
-Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!'\r
-said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.\r
-\r
- `What IS the fun?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they\r
-never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'\r
-\r
- `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went\r
-slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life,\r
-never!'\r
-\r
- They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the\r
-distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,\r
-as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart\r
-would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she\r
-asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the\r
-same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got\r
-no sorrow, you know. Come on!'\r
-\r
- So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with\r
-large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.\r
-\r
- `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to\r
-know your history, she do.'\r
-\r
- `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow\r
-tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've\r
-finished.'\r
-\r
- So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice\r
-thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he\r
-doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.\r
-\r
- `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was\r
-a real Turtle.'\r
-\r
- These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only\r
-by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and\r
-the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very\r
-nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your\r
-interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be\r
-more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.\r
-\r
- `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more\r
-calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to\r
-school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call\r
-him Tortoise--'\r
-\r
- `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.\r
-\r
- `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock\r
-Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!'\r
-\r
- `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple\r
-question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and\r
-looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At\r
-last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!\r
-Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:\r
-\r
- `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe\r
-it--'\r
-\r
- `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.\r
-\r
- `You did,' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak\r
-again. The Mock Turtle went on.\r
-\r
- `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school\r
-every day--'\r
-\r
- `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be\r
-so proud as all that.'\r
-\r
- `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.\r
-\r
- `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'\r
-\r
- `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.\r
-\r
- `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock\r
-Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the\r
-end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'\r
-\r
- `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the\r
-bottom of the sea.'\r
-\r
- `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a\r
-sigh. `I only took the regular course.'\r
-\r
- `What was that?' inquired Alice.\r
-\r
- `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock\r
-Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--\r
-Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'\r
-\r
- `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What\r
-is it?'\r
-\r
- The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never\r
-heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify\r
-is, I suppose?'\r
-\r
- `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--\r
-prettier.'\r
-\r
- `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to\r
-uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'\r
-\r
- Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about\r
-it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you\r
-to learn?'\r
-\r
- `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting\r
-off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,\r
-with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old\r
-conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us\r
-Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'\r
-\r
- `What was THAT like?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm\r
-too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'\r
-\r
- `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics\r
-master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.'\r
-\r
- `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he\r
-taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'\r
-\r
- `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;\r
-and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.\r
-\r
- `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a\r
-hurry to change the subject.\r
-\r
- `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the\r
-next, and so on.'\r
-\r
- `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.\r
-\r
- `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon\r
-remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.'\r
-\r
- This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a\r
-little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day\r
-must have been a holiday?'\r
-\r
- `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.\r
-\r
- `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a\r
-very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.'\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER X\r
-\r
- The Lobster Quadrille\r
-\r
-\r
- The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper\r
-across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for\r
-a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone\r
-in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him\r
-and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered\r
-his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on\r
-again:--\r
-\r
- `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,'\r
-said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'\r
-(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,\r
-and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful\r
-thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'\r
-\r
- `No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'\r
-\r
- `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the\r
-sea-shore--'\r
-\r
- `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon,\r
-and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of\r
-the way--'\r
-\r
- `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `--you advance twice--'\r
-\r
- `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to\r
-partners--'\r
-\r
- `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the\r
-Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'\r
-\r
- `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.\r
-\r
- `--as far out to sea as you can--'\r
-\r
- `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,\r
-capering wildly about.\r
-\r
- `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the\r
-Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,\r
-who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat\r
-down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.\r
-\r
- `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.\r
-\r
- `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `Very much indeed,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the\r
-Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall\r
-sing?'\r
-\r
- `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'\r
-\r
- So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now\r
-and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and\r
-waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle\r
-sang this, very slowly and sadly:--\r
-\r
-\r
-`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.\r
-"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my\r
- tail.\r
-See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!\r
-They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the\r
-dance?\r
-\r
-Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the\r
-dance?\r
-Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the\r
-dance?\r
-\r
-\r
-"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be\r
-When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to\r
- sea!"\r
-But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look\r
- askance--\r
-Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the\r
- dance.\r
- Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join\r
- the dance.\r
- Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join\r
- the dance.\r
-\r
-`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.\r
-"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.\r
-The further off from England the nearer is to France--\r
-Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.\r
-\r
- Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the\r
- dance?\r
- Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the\r
- dance?"'\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said\r
-Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so\r
-like that curious song about the whiting!'\r
-\r
- `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've\r
-seen them, of course?'\r
-\r
- `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she\r
-checked herself hastily.\r
-\r
- `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but\r
-if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're\r
-like.'\r
-\r
- `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their\r
-tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'\r
-\r
- `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle:\r
-`crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails\r
-in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle\r
-yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all\r
-that,' he said to the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with\r
-the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So\r
-they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in\r
-their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'\r
-\r
- `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew\r
-so much about a whiting before.'\r
-\r
- `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the\r
-Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'\r
-\r
- `I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'\r
-\r
- `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very\r
-solemnly.\r
-\r
- Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she\r
-repeated in a wondering tone.\r
-\r
- `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I\r
-mean, what makes them so shiny?'\r
-\r
- Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she\r
-gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.'\r
-\r
- `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep\r
-voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.'\r
-\r
- `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great\r
-curiosity.\r
-\r
- `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather\r
-impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.'\r
-\r
- `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were\r
-still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep\r
-back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'\r
-\r
- `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle\r
-said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'\r
-\r
- `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.\r
-\r
- `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came\r
-to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With\r
-what porpoise?"'\r
-\r
- `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended\r
-tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR\r
-adventures.'\r
-\r
- `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'\r
-said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to\r
-yesterday, because I was a different person then.'\r
-\r
- `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an\r
-impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.'\r
-\r
- So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when\r
-she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about\r
-it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on\r
-each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she\r
-gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly\r
-quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,\r
-FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming\r
-different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said\r
-`That's very curious.'\r
-\r
- `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated\r
-thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat\r
-something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as\r
-if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.\r
-\r
- `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said\r
-the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat\r
-lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.'\r
-However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so\r
-full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was\r
-saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--\r
-\r
- `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,\r
- "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."\r
- As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose\r
- Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'\r
-\r
- [later editions continued as follows\r
- When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,\r
- And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,\r
- But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,\r
- His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]\r
-\r
- `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'\r
-said the Gryphon.\r
-\r
- `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it\r
-sounds uncommon nonsense.'\r
-\r
- Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her\r
-hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way\r
-again.\r
-\r
- `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with\r
-the next verse.'\r
-\r
- `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD\r
-he turn them out with his nose, you know?'\r
-\r
- `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was\r
-dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the\r
-subject.\r
-\r
- `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:\r
-`it begins "I passed by his garden."'\r
-\r
- Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would\r
-all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--\r
-\r
- `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,\r
- How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'\r
-\r
- [later editions continued as follows\r
- The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,\r
- While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.\r
- When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,\r
- Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:\r
- While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,\r
- And concluded the banquet--]\r
-\r
- `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle\r
-interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far\r
-the most confusing thing I ever heard!'\r
-\r
- `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and\r
-Alice was only too glad to do so.\r
-\r
- `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the\r
-Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you\r
-a song?'\r
-\r
- `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'\r
-Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather\r
-offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle\r
-Soup," will you, old fellow?'\r
-\r
- The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes\r
-choked with sobs, to sing this:--\r
-\r
-\r
- `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,\r
- Waiting in a hot tureen!\r
- Who for such dainties would not stoop?\r
- Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!\r
- Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!\r
- Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!\r
- Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!\r
- Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,\r
- Beautiful, beautiful Soup!\r
-\r
- `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,\r
- Game, or any other dish?\r
- Who would not give all else for two p\r
- ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?\r
- Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?\r
- Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!\r
- Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!\r
- Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,\r
- Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'\r
-\r
- `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had\r
-just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!'\r
-was heard in the distance.\r
-\r
- `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,\r
-it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.\r
-\r
- `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon\r
-only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more\r
-faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the\r
-melancholy words:--\r
-\r
- `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,\r
- Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER XI\r
-\r
- Who Stole the Tarts?\r
-\r
-\r
- The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when\r
-they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts\r
-of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:\r
-the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on\r
-each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,\r
-with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the\r
-other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large\r
-dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice\r
-quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,'\r
-she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed\r
-to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about\r
-her, to pass away the time.\r
-\r
- Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had\r
-read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that\r
-she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the\r
-judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.'\r
-\r
- The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown\r
-over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he\r
-did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly\r
-not becoming.\r
-\r
- `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve\r
-creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because\r
-some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they\r
-are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over\r
-to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and\r
-rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the\r
-meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just\r
-as well.\r
-\r
- The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.\r
-`What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They\r
-can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'\r
-\r
- `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in\r
-reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the\r
-trial.'\r
-\r
- `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but\r
-she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in\r
-the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked\r
-anxiously round, to make out who was talking.\r
-\r
- Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their\r
-shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!'\r
-on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them\r
-didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his\r
-neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in\r
-before the trial's over!' thought Alice.\r
-\r
- One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course,\r
-Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got\r
-behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it\r
-away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was\r
-Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of\r
-it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write\r
-with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very\r
-little use, as it left no mark on the slate.\r
-\r
- `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.\r
-\r
- On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and\r
-then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--\r
-\r
- `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,\r
- All on a summer day:\r
- The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,\r
- And took them quite away!'\r
-\r
- `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.\r
-\r
- `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's\r
-a great deal to come before that!'\r
-\r
- `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit\r
-blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First\r
-witness!'\r
-\r
- The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in\r
-one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg\r
-pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I\r
-hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'\r
-\r
- `You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you\r
-begin?'\r
-\r
- The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into\r
-the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I\r
-think it was,' he said.\r
-\r
- `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.\r
-\r
- `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury\r
-eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then\r
-added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.\r
-\r
- `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.\r
-\r
- `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who\r
-instantly made a memorandum of the fact.\r
-\r
- `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;\r
-`I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'\r
-\r
- Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the\r
-Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.\r
-\r
- `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or\r
-I'll have you executed on the spot.'\r
-\r
- This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept\r
-shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the\r
-Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his\r
-teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.\r
-\r
- Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which\r
-puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was\r
-beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she\r
-would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she\r
-decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for\r
-her.\r
-\r
- `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was\r
-sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.'\r
-\r
- `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.'\r
-\r
- `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.\r
-\r
- `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know\r
-you're growing too.'\r
-\r
- `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse:\r
-`not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily\r
-and crossed over to the other side of the court.\r
-\r
- All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the\r
-Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to\r
-one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the\r
-singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter\r
-trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.\r
-\r
- `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have\r
-you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'\r
-\r
- `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a\r
-trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week\r
-or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and\r
-the twinkling of the tea--'\r
-\r
- `The twinkling of the what?' said the King.\r
-\r
- `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.\r
-\r
- `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.\r
-`Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'\r
-\r
- `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things\r
-twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'\r
-\r
- `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.\r
-\r
- `You did!' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- `I deny it!' said the March Hare.\r
-\r
- `He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.'\r
-\r
- `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,\r
-looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the\r
-Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.\r
-\r
- `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread-\r
-and-butter--'\r
-\r
- `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.\r
-\r
- `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.\r
-\r
- `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you\r
-executed.'\r
-\r
- The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,\r
-and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he\r
-began.\r
-\r
- `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.\r
-\r
- Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately\r
-suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a\r
-hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had\r
-a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings:\r
-into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat\r
-upon it.)\r
-\r
- `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often\r
-read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some\r
-attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the\r
-officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant\r
-till now.'\r
-\r
- `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'\r
-continued the King.\r
-\r
- `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as\r
-it is.'\r
-\r
- `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.\r
-\r
- Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.\r
-\r
- `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we\r
-shall get on better.'\r
-\r
- `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious\r
-look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.\r
-\r
- `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the\r
-court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.\r
-\r
- `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one\r
-of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the\r
-officer could get to the door.\r
-\r
- `Call the next witness!' said the King.\r
-\r
- The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the\r
-pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before\r
-she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began\r
-sneezing all at once.\r
-\r
- `Give your evidence,' said the King.\r
-\r
- `Shan't,' said the cook.\r
-\r
- The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a\r
-low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'\r
-\r
- `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy\r
-air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till\r
-his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What\r
-are tarts made of?'\r
-\r
- `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.\r
-\r
- `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.\r
-\r
- `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that\r
-Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch\r
-him! Off with his whiskers!'\r
-\r
- For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the\r
-Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down\r
-again, the cook had disappeared.\r
-\r
- `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.\r
-`Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the\r
-Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness.\r
-It quite makes my forehead ache!'\r
-\r
- Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,\r
-feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,\r
-`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself.\r
-Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top\r
-of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'\r
-\r
-\r
-\r
- CHAPTER XII\r
-\r
- Alice's Evidence\r
-\r
-\r
- `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the\r
-moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she\r
-jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with\r
-the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads\r
-of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding\r
-her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset\r
-the week before.\r
-\r
- `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great\r
-dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,\r
-for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and\r
-she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once\r
-and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.\r
-\r
- `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave\r
-voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--\r
-ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as\r
-he said do.\r
-\r
- Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she\r
-had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing\r
-was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable\r
-to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that\r
-it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it\r
-would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'\r
-\r
- As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of\r
-being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and\r
-handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write\r
-out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed\r
-too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,\r
-gazing up into the roof of the court.\r
-\r
- `What do you know about this business?' the King said to\r
-Alice.\r
-\r
- `Nothing,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.\r
-\r
- `Nothing whatever,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.\r
-They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when\r
-the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means,\r
-of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and\r
-making faces at him as he spoke.\r
-\r
- `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and\r
-went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--\r
-unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word\r
-sounded best.\r
-\r
- Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some\r
-`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to\r
-look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she\r
-thought to herself.\r
-\r
- At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily\r
-writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out\r
-from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE\r
-HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'\r
-\r
- Everybody looked at Alice.\r
-\r
- `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `You are,' said the King.\r
-\r
- `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.\r
-\r
- `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides,\r
-that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'\r
-\r
- `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.\r
-\r
- `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.\r
-\r
- The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.\r
-`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling\r
-voice.\r
-\r
- `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said\r
-the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has\r
-just been picked up.'\r
-\r
- `What's in it?' said the Queen.\r
-\r
- `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems\r
-to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'\r
-\r
- `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was\r
-written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'\r
-\r
- `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.\r
-\r
- `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,\r
-there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper\r
-as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set\r
-of verses.'\r
-\r
- `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of\r
-they jurymen.\r
-\r
- `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the\r
-queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)\r
-\r
- `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.\r
-(The jury all brightened up again.)\r
-\r
- `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and\r
-they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'\r
-\r
- `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the\r
-matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd\r
-have signed your name like an honest man.'\r
-\r
- There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the\r
-first really clever thing the King had said that day.\r
-\r
- `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.\r
-\r
- `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't\r
-even know what they're about!'\r
-\r
- `Read them,' said the King.\r
-\r
- The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin,\r
-please your Majesty?' he asked.\r
-\r
- `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on\r
-till you come to the end: then stop.'\r
-\r
- These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--\r
-\r
- `They told me you had been to her,\r
- And mentioned me to him:\r
- She gave me a good character,\r
- But said I could not swim.\r
-\r
- He sent them word I had not gone\r
- (We know it to be true):\r
- If she should push the matter on,\r
- What would become of you?\r
-\r
- I gave her one, they gave him two,\r
- You gave us three or more;\r
- They all returned from him to you,\r
- Though they were mine before.\r
-\r
- If I or she should chance to be\r
- Involved in this affair,\r
- He trusts to you to set them free,\r
- Exactly as we were.\r
-\r
- My notion was that you had been\r
- (Before she had this fit)\r
- An obstacle that came between\r
- Him, and ourselves, and it.\r
-\r
- Don't let him know she liked them best,\r
- For this must ever be\r
- A secret, kept from all the rest,\r
- Between yourself and me.'\r
-\r
- `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'\r
-said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'\r
-\r
- `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had\r
-grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit\r
-afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't\r
-believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'\r
-\r
- The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe\r
-there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to\r
-explain the paper.\r
-\r
- `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a\r
-world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And\r
-yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his\r
-knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some\r
-meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you\r
-can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.\r
-\r
- The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said.\r
-(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)\r
-\r
- `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering\r
-over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's\r
-the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why,\r
-that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'\r
-\r
- `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said\r
-Alice.\r
-\r
- `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to\r
-the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT.\r
-Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my\r
-dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.\r
-\r
- `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the\r
-Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off\r
-writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no\r
-mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was\r
-trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)\r
-\r
- `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round\r
-the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.\r
-\r
- `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and\r
-everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the\r
-King said, for about the twentieth time that day.\r
-\r
- `No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'\r
-\r
- `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having\r
-the sentence first!'\r
-\r
- `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.\r
-\r
- `I won't!' said Alice.\r
-\r
- `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.\r
-Nobody moved.\r
-\r
- `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full\r
-size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'\r
-\r
- At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying\r
-down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half\r
-of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on\r
-the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently\r
-brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the\r
-trees upon her face.\r
-\r
- `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long\r
-sleep you've had!'\r
-\r
- `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told\r
-her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange\r
-Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and\r
-when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a\r
-curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's\r
-getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she\r
-ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.\r
-\r
- But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her\r
-head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of\r
-little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began\r
-dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--\r
-\r
- First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the\r
-tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes\r
-were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her\r
-voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back\r
-the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and\r
-still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place\r
-around her became alive the strange creatures of her little\r
-sister's dream.\r
-\r
- The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried\r
-by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the\r
-neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as\r
-the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,\r
-and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate\r
-guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the\r
-Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once\r
-more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's\r
-slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,\r
-filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable\r
-Mock Turtle.\r
-\r
- So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in\r
-Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and\r
-all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only\r
-rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the\r
-reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-\r
-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd\r
-boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and\r
-all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the\r
-confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the\r
-cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's\r
-heavy sobs.\r
-\r
- Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of\r
-hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how\r
-she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and\r
-loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about\r
-her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager\r
-with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of\r
-Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their\r
-simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,\r
-remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.\r
-\r
- THE END\r
-\1a
\ No newline at end of file
projects / io-compress-brotli.git / blobdiff