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Commit | Line | Data |
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1 | %{ | |
2 | /* | |
3 | * Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English. | |
4 | * No racial or societal slurs are intended. For amusement only. | |
5 | * | |
6 | * Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole. | |
7 | * | |
8 | * Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained. | |
9 | */ | |
10 | ||
11 | %} | |
12 | %e 1700 | |
13 | %p 4000 | |
14 | %n 700 | |
15 | %k 450 | |
16 | %a 1700 | |
17 | %o 1500 | |
18 | BW [ \t\(] | |
19 | EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)] | |
20 | %option noyywrap | |
21 | %% | |
22 | ||
23 | %{ | |
24 | void plastc(); | |
25 | %} | |
26 | ||
27 | @[Bb]egin(.*) | | |
28 | ".so ".*$ printf("%s", yytext); | |
29 | {BW}send printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]); | |
30 | program+ printf("honky code"); | |
31 | [Uu]nix printf("slow mo-fo"); | |
32 | UNIX printf("dat slow mo-fo"); | |
33 | actual printf("ak'shul"); | |
34 | {BW}take printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]); | |
35 | {BW}took | | |
36 | {BW}take[ns] printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]); | |
37 | [Mm]exican printf("%cet-back", caseify('w')); | |
38 | [Ii]talian printf("%creaser", caseify('g')); | |
39 | {BW}big{EW} { printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
40 | fool printf("honkyfool"); | |
41 | modem printf("doodad"); | |
42 | {BW}he{EW} { printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
43 | "e the"{EW} | | |
44 | "a the"{EW} | | |
45 | "t the"{EW} | | |
46 | "d the"{EW} { printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
47 | wife | | |
48 | woman printf("mama"); | |
49 | girl printf("goat"); | |
50 | something printf("sump'n"); | |
51 | {BW}lie printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]); | |
52 | -o- printf("-on rebound-"); | |
53 | [a-z]"." { printf("%s", yytext);expletive();} | |
54 | ! printf(". Right On!"); | |
55 | [Ss]ure printf("%cho'", yytext[0]); | |
56 | get printf("git"); | |
57 | "will have"{EW} | | |
58 | "will"{EW} | | |
59 | "got to"{EW} { printf("gots'ta");plastc();} | |
60 | "I am" printf("I's gots'ta be"); | |
61 | "aren't" | | |
62 | "am not" | | |
63 | "have not" | | |
64 | "is not" | | |
65 | "are not" printf("ain't"); | |
66 | {BW}see{EW} { printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
67 | {BW}are{EW} { printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
68 | {BW}hat{EW} { printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
69 | {BW}shoe printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]); | |
70 | {BW}"have to"{EW} | | |
71 | {BW}has{EW} { printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
72 | have printf("gots'"); | |
73 | {BW}go{EW} | | |
74 | {BW}"come over"{EW} | | |
75 | {BW}come{EW} { printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
76 | buy printf("steal"); | |
77 | {BW}car{EW} { printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
78 | drive printf("roll"); | |
79 | {BW}food printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]); | |
80 | {BW}eat{EW} { printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
81 | drink printf("guzzle"); | |
82 | black | | |
83 | negro printf("brother"); | |
84 | white printf("honky"); | |
85 | nigger printf("gentleman"); | |
86 | nice printf("supa' fine"); | |
87 | {BW}person printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]); | |
88 | [Pp]eople printf("%cucka's", caseify('s')); | |
89 | {BW}thing thing(yytext[0]); | |
90 | house{EW} { printf("crib");plastc();} | |
91 | home printf("plantation"); | |
92 | name printf("dojigger"); | |
93 | {BW}path printf("%calley",yytext[0]); | |
94 | [Cc]omputer printf("%clunker", yytext[0]); | |
95 | or printf("o'"); | |
96 | president printf("super-dude"); | |
97 | "prime minister" printf("prahm mistah"); | |
98 | government printf("guv'ment"); | |
99 | knew printf("knowed"); | |
100 | [Bb]ecause printf("'%cuz", caseify('c')); | |
101 | [Yy]our printf("%co'", yytext[0]); | |
102 | [Ff]our printf("%coe", yytext[0]); | |
103 | got printf("gots"); | |
104 | young printf("yung"); | |
105 | you printf("ya'"); | |
106 | You printf("You's"); | |
107 | first printf("fust"); | |
108 | police printf("honky pigs"); | |
109 | {BW}string printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]); | |
110 | {BW}read printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]); | |
111 | write printf("scribble"); | |
112 | think{EW} { printf("thin'");plastc();} | |
113 | with printf("wif"); | |
114 | other printf("uthu'"); | |
115 | [Tt]hr printf("%c'r", yytext[0]); | |
116 | [Tt]h printf("%c", caseify('d')); | |
117 | ing printf("in'"); | |
118 | {BW}a{EW} { printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
119 | {BW}to{EW} { printf("%ct'",yytext[0]); | |
120 | if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ') | |
121 | plastc(); | |
122 | } | |
123 | tion printf("shun"); | |
124 | [Aa]lmost printf("%cos'", caseify('m')); | |
125 | from printf("fum"); | |
126 | [Yy]"ou're" printf("%couse", yytext[0]); | |
127 | alright | | |
128 | okay printf("coo'"); | |
129 | [Aa]nd printf("%cn'", yytext[0]); | |
130 | known printf("knode"); | |
131 | want printf("wants'"); | |
132 | beat printf("whup'ed"); | |
133 | ile printf("ah'l"); | |
134 | er{EW} { printf("uh");plastc();} | |
135 | [a-z]sti printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]); | |
136 | tute printf("toot"); | |
137 | exp printf("'sp"); | |
138 | exs | | |
139 | exc printf("'s"); | |
140 | {BW}ex printf("%c'es",yytext[0]); | |
141 | [ae]ct{EW} { printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); } | |
142 | like printf("likes"); | |
143 | done | | |
144 | did printf("dun did"); | |
145 | "kind of" printf("kind'a"); | |
146 | women printf("honky chicks"); | |
147 | {BW}man{EW} { printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
148 | {BW}men{EW} | | |
149 | {BW}mens{EW} { printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
150 | injured printf("hosed"); | |
151 | killed | | |
152 | dead printf("wasted"); | |
153 | good printf("baaaad"); | |
154 | open{EW} { printf("jimmey");plastc();} | |
155 | opened{EW} { printf("jimmey'd");plastc();} | |
156 | {BW}very printf("%creal",yytext[0]); | |
157 | per printf("puh'"); | |
158 | oar printf("o'"); | |
159 | {BW}can printf("%ckin",yytext[0]); | |
160 | {BW}just{EW} { printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
161 | [Dd]etroit printf("Mo-town"); | |
162 | [Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric" printf("da' cave"); | |
163 | {BW}believe printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]); | |
164 | [Ii]"ndianapolis" printf("Nap-town"); | |
165 | Daniel | | |
166 | Dan printf("Liva' Lips"); | |
167 | Reagan printf("Kingfish"); | |
168 | Ronald{EW} | | |
169 | Ron{EW} { printf("Rolo");plastc();} | |
170 | John printf("Rastus"); | |
171 | Jim printf("Bo-Jangles"); | |
172 | pontiff | | |
173 | pope printf("wiz'"); | |
174 | [Pp]ravda printf("dat commie rag"); | |
175 | broken printf("bugger'd"); | |
176 | strange{EW} { printf("funky");plastc();} | |
177 | dance{EW} { printf("boogy");plastc();} | |
178 | ask printf("ax'"); | |
179 | {BW}so{EW} { printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
180 | heard printf("'hoid"); | |
181 | head printf("'haid"); | |
182 | boss printf("main man"); | |
183 | money printf("bre'd"); | |
184 | [a-z]":" { *(yytext+1) = ','; | |
185 | printf("%s dig dis:",yytext); | |
186 | } | |
187 | amateur printf("begina'"); | |
188 | radio printf("transista'"); | |
189 | {BW}of{EW} { printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
190 | which | | |
191 | what printf("whut"); | |
192 | "don't" printf("doan'"); | |
193 | does printf("duz"); | |
194 | {BW}was{EW} | | |
195 | {BW}were{EW} { printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
196 | {BW}understand printf("%cdig",yytext[0]); | |
197 | {BW}my printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]); | |
198 | again | | |
199 | against printf("agin'"); | |
200 | {BW}[Ii]{EW} { printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();} | |
201 | meta printf("meta-fuckin'"); | |
202 | cally printf("c'l"); | |
203 | %% | |
204 | ||
205 | void plastc() | |
206 | { | |
207 | unput(yytext[yyleng-1]); | |
208 | } | |
209 | ||
210 | caseify(c) | |
211 | char c; | |
212 | { | |
213 | if (yytext[0] <= 'Z') | |
214 | return (c - ' '); | |
215 | else | |
216 | return (c); | |
217 | } | |
218 | ||
219 | thing(c) | |
220 | char c; | |
221 | { | |
222 | static short count = 0; | |
223 | ||
224 | putchar(c); | |
225 | switch (count++ % 4) { | |
226 | case 0: case 2: | |
227 | printf("thang"); | |
228 | break; | |
229 | case 1: | |
230 | printf("doohickey"); | |
231 | break; | |
232 | case 3: | |
233 | printf("wahtahmellun"); | |
234 | break; | |
235 | } | |
236 | } | |
237 | expletive() | |
238 | { | |
239 | static short count = 0; | |
240 | static short which = 0; | |
241 | ||
242 | if (count++ % 4 == 0) { | |
243 | switch (which++ % 5) { | |
244 | case 0: printf(" What it is, Mama!"); break; | |
245 | case 1: printf(" Ya' know?"); break; | |
246 | case 2: printf(" Sheeeiit."); break; | |
247 | case 3: printf(" Ya' dig?"); break; | |
248 | case 4: printf(" Git down!"); break; | |
249 | } | |
250 | } | |
251 | } | |
252 | ||
253 | /* | |
254 | * Bugs: | |
255 | * | |
256 | * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or: | |
257 | * it do, but gets a leading space | |
258 | */ |