LOLCAT

   1 #!/usr/bin/perl -p
   2 # lolcatz filtur
   3 # Copyright 2013 by Joey Hess under the terms of the GNU GPL.
   4
   5 # an array, not a hash. because order is important
   6 @trans_table=(
   7         'can i' => 'i can',
   8         '\bi\'ve' => 'i',
   9         '\ba\s+' => '', # nuke 'a'
  10         'cheese' => 'cheez',
  11         '\brock\b' => 'rawk',
  12         'ese\b' => 'ees',
  13         's\'s\b' => 's',
  14         '\'s\b' => 's',
  15         'er\b' => 'r',
  16         'ture\b' => 'chur',
  17         'day' => 'dai',
  18         '\bok\b' => 'k',
  19         '\boks\b' => 'ks',
  20         'boy' => 'boi',
  21         'tion' => 'shun',
  22         'ight' => 'ite',
  23         'innocent' => 'innozent',
  24         'ph' => 'f',
  25         'es' => 'ez',
  26         'ed\b' => 'd',
  27         'ns' => 'nz',
  28         'ks' => 'kz',
  29         'ds' => 'dz',
  30         'se' => 'ze',
  31         'zs' => 's',
  32         'sz' => 'z',
  33         'ss' => 's',
  34         'cc' => 'cs',
  35         'ck' => 'k',
  36         'oa' => 'o',
  37         '\bcat' => 'kat',
  38         'ive\b' => 'iv',
  39         'ake' => 'aek',
  40         'ed\b' => 'd',
  41         'ing\b' => 'in',
  42         'sion' => 'shun',
  43         '\bam\b' => 'iz',
  44         '\bhave\b' => 'has',
  45         '\bwho' => 'hoo',
  46         '\bwake\b' => 'waek',
  47         '\bone\b' => '1',
  48         '\btwo\b' => '2',
  49         '\bto\b' => '2',
  50         '\btoo\b' => '2',
  51         '\bthree\b' => '3',
  52         '\bfour\b' => '4',
  53         '\bfor\b' => '4',
  54         '\bfore\b' => '4',
  55         '\bfive\b' => '5',
  56         '\bsix\b' => '6',
  57         '\bseven\b' => '7',
  58         '\beight\b' => '8',
  59         '\bnine\b' => '9',
  60         '\bten\b' => '10',
  61         'god' => 'ceilin cat',
  62         'jezus' => 'jebus',
  63         'kitty' => 'kitteh',
  64         'saturdai' => 'katurdai',
  65         'allah' => 'invisible man',
  66         'delicious' => 'delishus',
  67         '\bdoctor\b' => 'docta',
  68         '\bdr\b' => 'docta',
  69         '\bgay\b' => 'ghey',
  70         '\bgood\b' => 'gud',
  71         '\bever' => 'evr',
  72         '\bpage\b' => 'paeg',
  73         'cheezburgr' => 'cheezburger', # fix up to canonical form
  74 );
  75
  76 y/A-Z/a-z/;
  77
  78 while (@trans_table) {
  79         $key=shift @trans_table;
  80         $value=shift @trans_table;
  81         s/$key/$value/g;
  82 }
  83
  84 s/es/ez/g;
  85
  86 y/a-z/A-Z/;