jive.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10
  11 %}
  12 %e 1700
  13 %p 4000
  14 %n 700
  15 %k 450
  16 %a 1700
  17 %o 1500
  18 BW [ \t\(]
  19 EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)]
  20 %option noyywrap
  21
  22 %{
  23     void plastc(void);
  24     char caseify(char);
  25     void expletive(void);
  26     void thing(char);
  27 %}
  28
  29 %%
  30
  31 @[Bb]egin(.*)           |
  32 ".so ".*$                       printf("%s", yytext);
  33 {BW}send                        printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]);
  34 program+                        printf("honky code");
  35 [Uu]nix                         printf("slow mo-fo");
  36 UNIX                            printf("dat slow mo-fo");
  37 actual                          printf("ak'shul");
  38 {BW}take                        printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]);
  39 {BW}took                |
  40 {BW}take[ns]                    printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]);
  41 [Mm]exican                      printf("%cet-back", caseify('w'));
  42 [Ii]talian                      printf("%creaser", caseify('g'));
  43 {BW}big{EW}             {       printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  44 fool                            printf("honkyfool");
  45 modem                           printf("doodad");
  46 {BW}he{EW}              {       printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  47 "e the"{EW}             |
  48 "a the"{EW}             |
  49 "t the"{EW}             |
  50 "d the"{EW}             {       printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();}
  51 wife                    |
  52 woman                           printf("mama");
  53 girl                            printf("goat");
  54 something                       printf("sump'n");
  55 {BW}lie                         printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]);
  56 -o-                             printf("-on rebound-");
  57 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%s", yytext);expletive();}
  58 !                               printf(".  Right On!");
  59 [Ss]ure                         printf("%cho'", yytext[0]);
  60 get                             printf("git");
  61 "will have"{EW}         |
  62 "will"{EW}              |
  63 "got to"{EW}            {       printf("gots'ta");plastc();}
  64 "I am"                          printf("I's gots'ta be");
  65 "aren't"                |
  66 "am not"                |
  67 "have not"              |
  68 "is not"                |
  69 "are not"                       printf("ain't");
  70 {BW}see{EW}             {       printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  71 {BW}are{EW}             {       printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  72 {BW}hat{EW}             {       printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  73 {BW}shoe                        printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]);
  74 {BW}"have to"{EW}       |
  75 {BW}has{EW}             {       printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  76 have                            printf("gots'");
  77 {BW}go{EW}              |
  78 {BW}"come over"{EW}     |
  79 {BW}come{EW}            {       printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  80 buy                             printf("steal");
  81 {BW}car{EW}             {       printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  82 drive                           printf("roll");
  83 {BW}food                        printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]);
  84 {BW}eat{EW}             {       printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  85 drink                           printf("guzzle");
  86 black                   |
  87 negro                           printf("brother");
  88 white                           printf("honky");
  89 nigger                          printf("gentleman");
  90 nice                            printf("supa' fine");
  91 {BW}person                      printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]);
  92 [Pp]eople                       printf("%cucka's", caseify('s'));
  93 {BW}thing                       thing(yytext[0]);
  94 house{EW}               {       printf("crib");plastc();}
  95 home                            printf("plantation");
  96 name                            printf("dojigger");
  97 {BW}path                        printf("%calley",yytext[0]);
  98 [Cc]omputer                     printf("%clunker", yytext[0]);
  99 or                              printf("o'");
 100 president                       printf("super-dude");
 101 "prime minister"                printf("prahm mistah");
 102 government                      printf("guv'ment");
 103 knew                            printf("knowed");
 104 [Bb]ecause                      printf("'%cuz", caseify('c'));
 105 [Yy]our                         printf("%co'", yytext[0]);
 106 [Ff]our                         printf("%coe", yytext[0]);
 107 got                             printf("gots");
 108 young                           printf("yung");
 109 you                             printf("ya'");
 110 You                             printf("You's");
 111 first                           printf("fust");
 112 police                          printf("honky pigs");
 113 {BW}string                      printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]);
 114 {BW}read                        printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]);
 115 write                           printf("scribble");
 116 think{EW}               {       printf("thin'");plastc();}
 117 with                            printf("wif");
 118 other                           printf("uthu'");
 119 [Tt]hr                          printf("%c'r", yytext[0]);
 120 [Tt]h                           printf("%c", caseify('d'));
 121 ing                             printf("in'");
 122 {BW}a{EW}               {       printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 123 {BW}to{EW}              {       printf("%ct'",yytext[0]);
 124                                 if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ')
 125                                         plastc();
 126                         }
 127 tion                            printf("shun");
 128 [Aa]lmost                       printf("%cos'", caseify('m'));
 129 from                            printf("fum");
 130 [Yy]"ou're"                     printf("%couse", yytext[0]);
 131 alright                 |
 132 okay                            printf("coo'");
 133 [Aa]nd                          printf("%cn'", yytext[0]);
 134 known                           printf("knode");
 135 want                            printf("wants'");
 136 beat                            printf("whup'ed");
 137 ile                             printf("ah'l");
 138 er{EW}                  {       printf("uh");plastc();}
 139 [a-z]sti                        printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]);
 140 tute                            printf("toot");
 141 exp                             printf("'sp");
 142 exs                     |
 143 exc                             printf("'s");
 144 {BW}ex                          printf("%c'es",yytext[0]);
 145 [ae]ct{EW}              {       printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
 146 like                            printf("likes");
 147 done                    |
 148 did                             printf("dun did");
 149 "kind of"                       printf("kind'a");
 150 women                           printf("honky chicks");
 151 {BW}man{EW}             {       printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 152 {BW}men{EW}             |
 153 {BW}mens{EW}            {       printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 154 injured                         printf("hosed");
 155 killed                  |
 156 dead                            printf("wasted");
 157 good                            printf("baaaad");
 158 open{EW}                {       printf("jimmey");plastc();}
 159 opened{EW}              {       printf("jimmey'd");plastc();}
 160 {BW}very                        printf("%creal",yytext[0]);
 161 per                             printf("puh'");
 162 oar                             printf("o'");
 163 {BW}can                         printf("%ckin",yytext[0]);
 164 {BW}just{EW}            {       printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 165 [Dd]etroit                      printf("Mo-town");
 166 [Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric"      printf("da' cave");
 167 {BW}believe                     printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]);
 168 [Ii]"ndianapolis"               printf("Nap-town");
 169 Daniel                  |
 170 Dan                             printf("Liva' Lips");
 171 Reagan                          printf("Kingfish");
 172 Ronald{EW}              |
 173 Ron{EW}                 {       printf("Rolo");plastc();}
 174 John                            printf("Rastus");
 175 Jim                             printf("Bo-Jangles");
 176 pontiff                 |
 177 pope                            printf("wiz'");
 178 [Pp]ravda                       printf("dat commie rag");
 179 broken                          printf("bugger'd");
 180 strange{EW}             {       printf("funky");plastc();}
 181 dance{EW}               {       printf("boogy");plastc();}
 182 ask                             printf("ax'");
 183 {BW}so{EW}              {       printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 184 heard                           printf("'hoid");
 185 head                            printf("'haid");
 186 boss                            printf("main man");
 187 money                           printf("bre'd");
 188 [a-z]":"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
 189                                 printf("%s dig dis:",yytext);
 190                         }
 191 amateur                         printf("begina'");
 192 radio                           printf("transista'");
 193 {BW}of{EW}              {       printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 194 which                   |
 195 what                            printf("whut");
 196 "don't"                         printf("doan'");
 197 does                            printf("duz");
 198 {BW}was{EW}             |
 199 {BW}were{EW}            {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 200 {BW}understand                  printf("%cdig",yytext[0]);
 201 {BW}my                          printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]);
 202 again                   |
 203 against                         printf("agin'");
 204 {BW}[Ii]{EW}            {       printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 205 meta                            printf("meta-fuckin'");
 206 cally                           printf("c'l");
 207 %%
 208
 209 void plastc()
 210 {
 211     unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
 212 }
 213
 214 char caseify(c)
 215 char c;
 216 {
 217         if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 218                 return (c - ' ');
 219         else
 220                 return (c);
 221 }
 222
 223 void thing(c)
 224 char c;
 225 {
 226         static short    count = 0;
 227
 228         putchar(c);
 229         switch (count++ % 4) {
 230                 case 0: case 2:
 231                         printf("thang");
 232                         break;
 233                 case 1:
 234                         printf("doohickey");
 235                         break;
 236                 case 3:
 237                         printf("wahtahmellun");
 238                         break;
 239                 }
 240 }
 241
 242 void expletive()
 243 {
 244         static short    count = 0;
 245         static short    which = 0;
 246
 247         if (count++ % 4 == 0) {
 248                 switch (which++ % 5) {
 249                         case 0: printf("  What it is, Mama!"); break;
 250                         case 1: printf("  Ya' know?"); break;
 251                         case 2: printf("  Sheeeiit."); break;
 252                         case 3: printf("  Ya' dig?"); break;
 253                         case 4: printf("  Git down!"); break;
 254                         }
 255                 }
 256 }
 257
 258 /*
 259  * Bugs:
 260  *
 261  * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or:
 262  * it do, but gets a leading space
 263  */