ken.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  * ken:
   4  * will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
   5  * of computer terminology.
   6  *
   7  * Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
   8  * Make copies if you want etc.etc.
   9  *
  10  * Contacted author in June 2001, asked him to clarify the license, he replied
  11  * with some improvements and placed the program in the public domain.
  12  *         -- Edward Betts <edward@debian.org> Mon, 11 Jun 2001 12:04:29 +0100
  13  *
  14  * ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
  15  * who speaks somewhat like that.
  16  */
  17 %}
  18 %e 3000
  19 %p 6000
  20 %n 1000
  21 %k 500
  22 %a 4000
  23 %o 2000
  24 BW [    ]
  25 EW [    .,;!?]
  26 %{
  27     char buf[128];
  28 %}
  29
  30 %%
  31
  32 stairs          printf("apples and pears");
  33 Downstairs      printf("Down the apples and pears");
  34 downstairs      printf("down the apples and pears");
  35 Upstairs        printf("Up the apples and pears");
  36 upstairs        printf("up the apples and pears");
  37 [Mm]outh        printf("North and South");
  38 [Ff]ace         printf("Boat Race");
  39 [Tt]rouble      printf("Barney Rubble");
  40 wife            {       switch(rand()%2)
  41                         {
  42                         case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
  43                         case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
  44                         }
  45                 }
  46 Road            printf("Frog and Toad");
  47 " road"         printf(" frog and toad");
  48 "pub "          printf("rub-a-dub ");
  49 " bar "         printf(" boozer ");
  50 " husband"      printf(" ole man");
  51 Party           printf("Knees-up");
  52 party           printf("knees-up");
  53 Parties         printf("Knees-ups");
  54 parties         printf("knees-ups");
  55 My              printf("Me");
  56 " my"           printf(" me");
  57 Your            printf("Yer");
  58 your            printf("yer");
  59 "You are "      printf("Yer ");
  60 "you are "      printf("yer ");
  61 You             printf("Yer");
  62 you             printf("yer");
  63 Those           printf("Them");
  64 those           printf("them");
  65 " those"        printf(" them");
  66 "(those"        printf("(them");
  67 "The "          {   switch(rand()%5)
  68                     {
  69                     case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
  70                     default: ECHO; break;
  71                     }
  72                 }
  73 "The"           ECHO;
  74 " the "         {   switch(rand()%5)
  75                     {
  76                     case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
  77                     default: ECHO; break;
  78                     }
  79                 }
  80 [" "(]the       ECHO;
  81 "the "          {   switch(rand()%5)
  82                     {
  83                     case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
  84                     default: ECHO; break;
  85                     }
  86                 }
  87 [Tt]his         ECHO;
  88 [" "(]this      ECHO;
  89 [Tt]hat         ECHO;
  90 [" "(]that      ECHO;
  91 Thus            printf("So");
  92 " thus"         printf(" so");
  93 "(thus"         printf("(so");
  94 "thus"          printf("so");
  95 [Tt]han         ECHO;
  96 [" "(]than      ECHO;
  97 Who             ECHO;
  98 who             ECHO;
  99 " old "         printf(" ole ");
 100 " to "          printf(" ter ");
 101 "Aren't you "   printf("Aintcha ");
 102 "aren't you "   printf("aintcha ");
 103 "Aren't"        printf("Ain't");
 104 "aren't"        printf("ain't");
 105 "Isn't"         printf("Ain't");
 106 "isn't"         printf("ain't");
 107 "Are not "      printf("Ain't");
 108 "are not "      printf("ain't ");
 109 "Is not "       printf("Ain't ");
 110 " is not "      printf(" ain't ");
 111 "What is th"    printf("Woss");
 112 "what is th"    printf("woss");
 113 "What are you " printf("Wotcher ");
 114 "what are you " printf("wotcher ");
 115 "What you are"  printf("Wotcher");
 116 "what you are"  printf("wotcher");
 117 "What you're"   printf("Wotcher");
 118 "what you're"   printf("wotcher");
 119 "What are your" printf("Wotcher");
 120 "what are your" printf("wotcher");
 121 "What do you "  printf("Wotcher ");
 122 "what do you "  printf("wotcher ");
 123 "What do your"  printf("Wotcher");
 124 "what do your"  printf("wotcher");
 125 " "H[aeu]llo    printf(" Wotcher");
 126 " "h[aeu]llo    printf(" wotcher");
 127 What            printf("Wot");
 128 what            printf("wot");
 129 Were            printf("Was");
 130 were            printf("was");
 131 Bother          printf("Ars");
 132 bother          printf("ars");
 133 Mother          printf("Muvver");
 134 Other           printf("Uvver");
 135 other           printf("uvver");
 136 Father          printf("Favver");
 137 father          printf("favver");
 138 Rather          printf("Ravver");
 139 rather          printf("ravver");
 140 Weather         printf("Wevver");
 141 weather         printf("wevver");
 142 Leather         printf("Levver");
 143 leather         printf("levver");
 144 Wither          printf("Wivver");
 145 wither          printf("wivver");
 146 Either          printf("Eever");
 147 either          printf("eever");
 148 With            printf("Wiv");
 149 with            printf("wiv");
 150 Anything        printf("Anyfink");
 151 anything        printf("anyfink");
 152 Something       printf("Sumfink");
 153 something       printf("sumfink");
 154 Nothing         printf("Nuffink");
 155 nothing         printf("nuffink");
 156 guitars         printf("spoons");
 157 guitar          printf("spoons");
 158 drums           printf("spoons");
 159 drum            printf("spoons");
 160 trumpets        printf("spoons");
 161 trumpet         printf("spoons");
 162 violins         printf("spoons");
 163 violin          printf("spoons");
 164 clarinets       printf("spoons");
 165 clarinet        printf("spoons");
 166 trombones       printf("spoons");
 167 trombone        printf("spoons");
 168 oboes           printf("spoons");
 169 oboe            printf("spoons");
 170 flutes          printf("spoons");
 171 flute           printf("spoons");
 172 tubas           printf("spoons");
 173 tuba            printf("spoons");
 174 Data            printf("Info");
 175 data            printf("info");
 176 Directory       printf("Lockup");
 177 directory       printf("lockup");
 178 Directories     printf("Lockups");
 179 directories     printf("lockups");
 180 [Pp]rocess      {   switch(rand()%2)
 181                     {
 182                     case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
 183                     case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
 184                     }
 185                 }
 186 [Cc]omputer     printf("French Tutor");
 187 [Bb]yte         printf("Jimmy White");
 188 [Ff]iles        printf("Nobby Stiles");
 189 [Ff]ile         printf("Royal Mile");
 190 [Ll]anguage     printf("'Am Sandwich");
 191 [Zz]ero         printf("Emperor Nero");
 192 [Jj]ob          printf("Uncle Bob");
 193 [Ss]hell        printf("Bow Bell");
 194 [Ss]ave         printf("Chas'n'Dave");
 195 [Ll]oad         printf("Old Kent Road");
 196 [Mm]ouse        printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
 197 [Bb]uffer       printf("Sausage Stuffer");
 198 [Kk]eyboard     printf("Henry Ford");
 199 [Mm]anual       printf("Cocker Spaniel");
 200 [Ss]creen       printf("James Dean");
 201 [Pp]rinter      printf("'Arold Pinter");
 202 [Pp]lotter      printf("Pansy Potter");
 203 [Cc]ompiler     printf("Martin Tyler");
 204 [Ss]tring       printf("Emperor Ming");
 205 [Bb]rain        printf("Michael Caine");
 206 [Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll]        {   switch(rand()%2)
 207                                     {
 208                                     case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
 209                                     case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
 210                                     }
 211                                 }
 212 [Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll]    printf("Johnny Ball");
 213 [Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn]    printf("Manfred Mann");
 214 [Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll]    printf("Albert Hall");
 215 [Jj]ava         printf("Wot a palavah");
 216 W[aA][pP]       printf("Pony and trap");
 217 " wap"          printf(" pony and trap");
 218 Stopped         printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
 219 stopped         printf("'ad the mockers put on");
 220 Stopping        printf("Putting the mockers on");
 221 stopping        printf("putting the mockers on");
 222 stops           printf("puts the mockers on");
 223 stop            printf("put the mockers on");
 224 STOP            printf("Put The Mockers On");
 225 [Ll]ondoner     printf("Cockney");
 226 friend          {   switch(rand()%3)
 227                     {
 228                     case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
 229                     case 1: printf("mate"); break;
 230                     case 2: printf("china"); break;
 231                     }
 232                 }
 233 "a h"           printf("an '");
 234 "A h"           printf("An '");
 235 " h"            printf(" '");
 236 " H"            printf(" '");
 237 " C-"           printf(" Bruce Lee-");
 238 " C "           {        switch(rand()%4)
 239                          {
 240                          case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
 241                          case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
 242                          case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
 243                          case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
 244                          }
 245                 }
 246 " C."           printf(" Circus Flea.");
 247 Th              printf("F");
 248 Wh              printf("W");
 249 wh              printf("w");
 250 aw              printf("or");
 251 " "[BbKkMmPpRrSsWw]ing  ECHO;
 252 " "[Bb]ring     ECHO;
 253 " "[Ss]ting     ECHO;
 254 " "[Ss]wing     ECHO;
 255 " "[CcFfSs]ling ECHO;
 256 " Thing"        printf(" Fing");
 257 " thing"        printf(" fing");
 258
 259 "ing "          printf("in' ");
 260 ". "            {   switch(rand()%32)
 261                     {
 262                     case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
 263                     case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
 264                     case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
 265                     case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
 266                     default: ECHO; break;
 267                     }
 268                 }
 269 "? "            {   switch(rand()%3)
 270                     {
 271                     case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
 272                     case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
 273                     case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
 274                     }
 275                 }
 276 "! "            {   switch(rand()%6)
 277                     {
 278                     case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
 279                     case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
 280                     case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
 281                     case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
 282                     case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
 283                     case 5: ECHO; break;
 284                     }
 285                 }
 286 .               printf("%s", yytext);
 287 \n              printf("\n");
 288 %%