[filters.git] / ken.l

%{
/*
 * ken:
 * will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
 * of computer terminology.
 * 
 * Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
 * Make copies if you want etc.etc.
 * 
 * Contacted author in June 2001, asked him to clarify the license, he replied
 * with some improvements and placed the program in the public domain.
 *         -- Edward Betts <edward@debian.org> Mon, 11 Jun 2001 12:04:29 +0100
 * 
 * ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
 * who speaks somewhat like that.
 */
%}
%e 3000
%p 6000
%n 1000
%k 500
%a 4000
%o 2000
BW [ 	]
EW [ 	.,;!?]
%{
    char buf[128];
%}

%%

stairs		printf("apples and pears");
Downstairs	printf("Down the apples and pears");
downstairs	printf("down the apples and pears");
Upstairs	printf("Up the apples and pears");
upstairs	printf("up the apples and pears");
[Mm]outh	printf("North and South");
[Ff]ace		printf("Boat Race");
[Tt]rouble	printf("Barney Rubble");
wife		{	switch(rand()%2)
			{
			case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
			case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
			}
		}
Road		printf("Frog and Toad");
" road"		printf(" frog and toad");
"pub "		printf("rub-a-dub ");
" bar "		printf(" boozer ");
" husband"	printf(" ole man");
Party		printf("Knees-up");
party		printf("knees-up");
Parties		printf("Knees-ups");
parties		printf("knees-ups");
My		printf("Me");
" my"		printf(" me");
Your		printf("Yer");
your		printf("yer");
"You are "      printf("Yer ");
"you are "      printf("yer ");
You		printf("Yer");
you		printf("yer");
Those		printf("Them");
those		printf("them");
" those"	printf(" them");
"(those"	printf("(them");
"The "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
"The"		ECHO;
" the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
[" "(]the	ECHO;
"the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
[Tt]his		ECHO;
[" "(]this	ECHO;
[Tt]hat		ECHO;
[" "(]that	ECHO;
Thus		printf("So");
" thus"		printf(" so");
"(thus"		printf("(so");
"thus"		printf("so");
[Tt]han		ECHO;
[" "(]than	ECHO;
Who		ECHO;
who		ECHO;
" old "		printf(" ole ");
" to "		printf(" ter ");
"Aren't you "   printf("Aintcha ");
"aren't you "   printf("aintcha ");
"Aren't"	printf("Ain't");
"aren't"	printf("ain't");
"Isn't"		printf("Ain't");
"isn't"		printf("ain't");
"Are not "	printf("Ain't");
"are not "	printf("ain't ");
"Is not "	printf("Ain't ");
" is not "	printf(" ain't ");
"What is th"    printf("Woss");
"what is th"    printf("woss");
"What are you "	printf("Wotcher ");
"what are you "	printf("wotcher ");
"What you are"	printf("Wotcher");
"what you are"	printf("wotcher");
"What you're"	printf("Wotcher");
"what you're"	printf("wotcher");
"What are your"	printf("Wotcher");
"what are your"	printf("wotcher");
"What do you "  printf("Wotcher ");
"what do you "	printf("wotcher ");
"What do your"  printf("Wotcher");
"what do your"	printf("wotcher");
" "H[aeu]llo	printf(" Wotcher");
" "h[aeu]llo	printf(" wotcher");
What		printf("Wot");
what		printf("wot");
Were		printf("Was");
were 		printf("was");
Bother		printf("Ars");
bother		printf("ars");
Mother		printf("Muvver");
Other		printf("Uvver");
other		printf("uvver");
Father		printf("Favver");
father		printf("favver");
Rather		printf("Ravver");
rather		printf("ravver");
Weather		printf("Wevver");
weather		printf("wevver");
Leather		printf("Levver");
leather		printf("levver");
Wither		printf("Wivver");
wither		printf("wivver");
Either		printf("Eever");
either		printf("eever");
With		printf("Wiv");
with		printf("wiv");
Anything	printf("Anyfink");
anything	printf("anyfink");
Something	printf("Sumfink");
something	printf("sumfink");
Nothing		printf("Nuffink");
nothing		printf("nuffink");
guitars		printf("spoons");
guitar		printf("spoons");
drums		printf("spoons");
drum		printf("spoons");
trumpets	printf("spoons");
trumpet		printf("spoons");
violins		printf("spoons");
violin		printf("spoons");
clarinets	printf("spoons");
clarinet	printf("spoons");
trombones	printf("spoons");
trombone	printf("spoons");
oboes		printf("spoons");
oboe		printf("spoons");
flutes		printf("spoons");
flute		printf("spoons");
tubas		printf("spoons");
tuba		printf("spoons");
Data		printf("Info");
data		printf("info");
Directory	printf("Lockup");
directory	printf("lockup");
Directories	printf("Lockups");
directories	printf("lockups");
[Pp]rocess	{   switch(rand()%2)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
		    case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
		    }
		}
[Cc]omputer	printf("French Tutor");
[Bb]yte		printf("Jimmy White");
[Ff]iles	printf("Nobby Stiles");
[Ff]ile		printf("Royal Mile");
[Ll]anguage	printf("'Am Sandwich");
[Zz]ero		printf("Emperor Nero");
[Jj]ob		printf("Uncle Bob");
[Ss]hell	printf("Bow Bell");
[Ss]ave		printf("Chas'n'Dave");
[Ll]oad		printf("Old Kent Road");
[Mm]ouse	printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
[Bb]uffer	printf("Sausage Stuffer");
[Kk]eyboard	printf("Henry Ford");
[Mm]anual	printf("Cocker Spaniel");
[Ss]creen	printf("James Dean");
[Pp]rinter	printf("'Arold Pinter");
[Pp]lotter	printf("Pansy Potter");
[Cc]ompiler	printf("Martin Tyler");
[Ss]tring	printf("Emperor Ming");
[Bb]rain	printf("Michael Caine");
[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll]	{   switch(rand()%2)
				    {
				    case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
				    case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
				    }
				}
[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll]	printf("Johnny Ball");
[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn]	printf("Manfred Mann");
[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll]	printf("Albert Hall");
[Jj]ava		printf("Wot a palavah");
W[aA][pP]	printf("Pony and trap");
" wap"		printf(" pony and trap");
Stopped		printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
stopped		printf("'ad the mockers put on");
Stopping	printf("Putting the mockers on");
stopping	printf("putting the mockers on");
stops		printf("puts the mockers on");
stop		printf("put the mockers on");
STOP		printf("Put The Mockers On");
[Ll]ondoner	printf("Cockney");
friend		{   switch(rand()%3)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
		    case 1: printf("mate"); break;
		    case 2: printf("china"); break;
		    }
		}
"a h"		printf("an '");
"A h"		printf("An '");
" h"		printf(" '");
" H"		printf(" '");
" C-"		printf(" Bruce Lee-");
" C "		{        switch(rand()%4)
			 {
			 case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
			 case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
			 case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
			 case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
			 }
		}
" C."		printf(" Circus Flea.");
Th		printf("F");
Wh		printf("W");
wh		printf("w");
aw		printf("or");
" "[BbKkMmPpRrSsWw]ing	ECHO;
" "[Bb]ring	ECHO;
" "[Ss]ting	ECHO;
" "[Ss]wing	ECHO;
" "[CcFfSs]ling	ECHO;
" Thing"	printf(" Fing");
" thing"	printf(" fing");

"ing "		printf("in' ");
". "		{   switch(rand()%32)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
		    case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
		    case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
		    case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
"? "		{   switch(rand()%3)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
		    case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
		    case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
		    }
		}
"! "		{   switch(rand()%6)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
		    case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
		    case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
		    case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
		    case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
		    case 5: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
.		printf("%s", yytext);
\n		printf("\n");
%%
Commit	Line	Data
73fc7494	1	%{
	2	/*
	3	* ken:
	4	* will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
	5	* of computer terminology.
	6	*
	7	* Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
	8	* Make copies if you want etc.etc.
	9	*
	10	* Contacted author in June 2001, asked him to clarify the license, he replied
	11	* with some improvements and placed the program in the public domain.
	12	* -- Edward Betts <edward@debian.org> Mon, 11 Jun 2001 12:04:29 +0100
	13	*
	14	* ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
	15	* who speaks somewhat like that.
	16	*/
	17	%}
	18	%e 3000
	19	%p 6000
	20	%n 1000
	21	%k 500
	22	%a 4000
	23	%o 2000
	24	BW [ ]
	25	EW [ .,;!?]
	26	%{
	27	char buf[128];
	28	%}
	29
	30	%%
	31
	32	stairs printf("apples and pears");
	33	Downstairs printf("Down the apples and pears");
	34	downstairs printf("down the apples and pears");
	35	Upstairs printf("Up the apples and pears");
	36	upstairs printf("up the apples and pears");
	37	[Mm]outh printf("North and South");
	38	[Ff]ace printf("Boat Race");
	39	[Tt]rouble printf("Barney Rubble");
	40	wife { switch(rand()%2)
	41	{
	42	case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
	43	case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
	44	}
	45	}
	46	Road printf("Frog and Toad");
	47	" road" printf(" frog and toad");
	48	"pub " printf("rub-a-dub ");
	49	" bar " printf(" boozer ");
	50	" husband" printf(" ole man");
	51	Party printf("Knees-up");
	52	party printf("knees-up");
	53	Parties printf("Knees-ups");
	54	parties printf("knees-ups");
	55	My printf("Me");
	56	" my" printf(" me");
	57	Your printf("Yer");
	58	your printf("yer");
	59	"You are " printf("Yer ");
	60	"you are " printf("yer ");
	61	You printf("Yer");
	62	you printf("yer");
	63	Those printf("Them");
	64	those printf("them");
65	" those" printf(" them");
66	"(those" printf("(them");
67	"The " { switch(rand()%5)
68	{
69	case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
70	default: ECHO; break;
71	}
72	}
73	"The" ECHO;
74	" the " { switch(rand()%5)
75	{
76	case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
77	default: ECHO; break;
78	}
79	}
80	[" "(]the ECHO;
81	"the " { switch(rand()%5)
82	{
83	case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
84	default: ECHO; break;
85	}
86	}
87	[Tt]his ECHO;
88	[" "(]this ECHO;
89	[Tt]hat ECHO;
90	[" "(]that ECHO;
91	Thus printf("So");
92	" thus" printf(" so");
93	"(thus" printf("(so");
94	"thus" printf("so");
95	[Tt]han ECHO;
96	[" "(]than ECHO;
97	Who ECHO;
98	who ECHO;
99	" old " printf(" ole ");
100	" to " printf(" ter ");
101	"Aren't you " printf("Aintcha ");
102	"aren't you " printf("aintcha ");
103	"Aren't" printf("Ain't");
104	"aren't" printf("ain't");
105	"Isn't" printf("Ain't");
106	"isn't" printf("ain't");
107	"Are not " printf("Ain't");
108	"are not " printf("ain't ");
109	"Is not " printf("Ain't ");
110	" is not " printf(" ain't ");
111	"What is th" printf("Woss");
112	"what is th" printf("woss");
113	"What are you " printf("Wotcher ");
114	"what are you " printf("wotcher ");
115	"What you are" printf("Wotcher");
116	"what you are" printf("wotcher");
117	"What you're" printf("Wotcher");
118	"what you're" printf("wotcher");
119	"What are your" printf("Wotcher");
120	"what are your" printf("wotcher");
121	"What do you " printf("Wotcher ");
122	"what do you " printf("wotcher ");
123	"What do your" printf("Wotcher");
124	"what do your" printf("wotcher");
125	" "H[aeu]llo printf(" Wotcher");
126	" "h[aeu]llo printf(" wotcher");
127	What printf("Wot");
128	what printf("wot");
129	Were printf("Was");
130	were printf("was");
131	Bother printf("Ars");
132	bother printf("ars");
133	Mother printf("Muvver");
134	Other printf("Uvver");
135	other printf("uvver");
136	Father printf("Favver");
137	father printf("favver");
138	Rather printf("Ravver");
139	rather printf("ravver");
140	Weather printf("Wevver");
141	weather printf("wevver");
142	Leather printf("Levver");
143	leather printf("levver");
144	Wither printf("Wivver");
145	wither printf("wivver");
146	Either printf("Eever");
147	either printf("eever");
148	With printf("Wiv");
149	with printf("wiv");
150	Anything printf("Anyfink");
151	anything printf("anyfink");
152	Something printf("Sumfink");
153	something printf("sumfink");
154	Nothing printf("Nuffink");
155	nothing printf("nuffink");
156	guitars printf("spoons");
157	guitar printf("spoons");
158	drums printf("spoons");
159	drum printf("spoons");
160	trumpets printf("spoons");
161	trumpet printf("spoons");
162	violins printf("spoons");
163	violin printf("spoons");
164	clarinets printf("spoons");
165	clarinet printf("spoons");
166	trombones printf("spoons");
167	trombone printf("spoons");
168	oboes printf("spoons");
169	oboe printf("spoons");
170	flutes printf("spoons");
171	flute printf("spoons");
172	tubas printf("spoons");
173	tuba printf("spoons");
174	Data printf("Info");
175	data printf("info");
176	Directory printf("Lockup");
177	directory printf("lockup");
178	Directories printf("Lockups");
179	directories printf("lockups");
180	[Pp]rocess { switch(rand()%2)
181	{
182	case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
183	case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
184	}
185	}
186	[Cc]omputer printf("French Tutor");
187	[Bb]yte printf("Jimmy White");
188	[Ff]iles printf("Nobby Stiles");
189	[Ff]ile printf("Royal Mile");
190	[Ll]anguage printf("'Am Sandwich");
191	[Zz]ero printf("Emperor Nero");
192	[Jj]ob printf("Uncle Bob");
193	[Ss]hell printf("Bow Bell");
194	[Ss]ave printf("Chas'n'Dave");
195	[Ll]oad printf("Old Kent Road");
196	[Mm]ouse printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
197	[Bb]uffer printf("Sausage Stuffer");
198	[Kk]eyboard printf("Henry Ford");
199	[Mm]anual printf("Cocker Spaniel");
200	[Ss]creen printf("James Dean");
201	[Pp]rinter printf("'Arold Pinter");
202	[Pp]lotter printf("Pansy Potter");
203	[Cc]ompiler printf("Martin Tyler");
204	[Ss]tring printf("Emperor Ming");
205	[Bb]rain printf("Michael Caine");
206	[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll] { switch(rand()%2)
207	{
208	case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
209	case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
210	}
211	}
212	[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll] printf("Johnny Ball");
213	[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn] printf("Manfred Mann");
214	[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll] printf("Albert Hall");
215	[Jj]ava printf("Wot a palavah");
c8d1efb9	216	W[aA][pP] printf("Pony and trap");
c8d1efb9	217	" wap" printf(" pony and trap");
73fc7494	218	Stopped printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
	219	stopped printf("'ad the mockers put on");
	220	Stopping printf("Putting the mockers on");
	221	stopping printf("putting the mockers on");
	222	stops printf("puts the mockers on");
	223	stop printf("put the mockers on");
	224	STOP printf("Put The Mockers On");
	225	[Ll]ondoner printf("Cockney");
	226	friend { switch(rand()%3)
	227	{
	228	case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
	229	case 1: printf("mate"); break;
	230	case 2: printf("china"); break;
	231	}
	232	}
	233	"a h" printf("an '");
	234	"A h" printf("An '");
	235	" h" printf(" '");
	236	" H" printf(" '");
	237	" C-" printf(" Bruce Lee-");
	238	" C " { switch(rand()%4)
	239	{
	240	case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
	241	case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
	242	case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
	243	case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
	244	}
	245	}
	246	" C." printf(" Circus Flea.");
	247	Th printf("F");
	248	Wh printf("W");
	249	wh printf("w");
	250	aw printf("or");
	251	" "[BbKkMmPpRrSsWw]ing ECHO;
	252	" "[Bb]ring ECHO;
	253	" "[Ss]ting ECHO;
	254	" "[Ss]wing ECHO;
	255	" "[CcFfSs]ling ECHO;
	256	" Thing" printf(" Fing");
	257	" thing" printf(" fing");
	258
	259	"ing " printf("in' ");
	260	". " { switch(rand()%32)
	261	{
	262	case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
	263	case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
	264	case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
	265	case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
	266	default: ECHO; break;
	267	}
	268	}
	269	"? " { switch(rand()%3)
	270	{
	271	case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
	272	case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
	273	case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
	274	}
	275	}
	276	"! " { switch(rand()%6)
	277	{
	278	case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
	279	case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
	280	case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
	281	case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
282	case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
283	case 5: ECHO; break;
284	}
285	}
9a251f02	286	. printf("%s", yytext);
73fc7494	287	\n printf("\n");
73fc7494	288	%%