[filters.git] / ken.l

%{
/*
 * ken:
 * will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
 * of computer terminology.
 * 
 * Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
 * Make copies if you want etc.etc.
 * 
 * ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
 * who speaks somewhat like that.
 */
%}
%e 3000
%p 6000
%n 1000
%k 500
%a 4000
%o 2000
BW [ 	]
EW [ 	.,;!?]
%{
    char buf[128];
%}

%%

stairs		printf("apples and pears");
Downstairs	printf("Down the apples and pears");
downstairs	printf("down the apples and pears");
Upstairs	printf("Up the apples and pears");
upstairs	printf("up the apples and pears");
[Mm]outh	printf("North and South");
[Ff]ace		printf("Boat Race");
[Tt]rouble	printf("Barney Rubble");
wife		{	switch(rand()%2)
			{
			case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
			case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
			}
		}
Road		printf("Frog and Toad");
" road"		printf(" frog and toad");
"pub "		printf("rub-a-dub ");
" bar "		printf(" boozer ");
" husband"	printf(" ole man");
Party		printf("Knees-up");
party		printf("knees-up");
Parties		printf("Knees-ups");
parties		printf("knees-ups");
My		printf("Me");
" my"		printf(" me");
Your		printf("Yer");
your		printf("yer");
"You are "      printf("Yer ");
"you are "      printf("yer ");
You		printf("Yer");
you		printf("yer");
Those		printf("Them");
those		printf("them");
" those"	printf(" them");
"(those"	printf("(them");
"The "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
"The"		ECHO;
" the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
[" "(]the	ECHO;
"the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
[Tt]his		ECHO;
[" "(]this	ECHO;
[Tt]hat		ECHO;
[" "(]that	ECHO;
Thus		printf("So");
" thus"		printf(" so");
"(thus"		printf("(so");
"thus"		printf("so");
[Tt]han		ECHO;
[" "(]than	ECHO;
Who		ECHO;
who		ECHO;
" old "		printf(" ole ");
" to "		printf(" ter ");
"Aren't you "   printf("Aintcha ");
"aren't you "   printf("aintcha ");
"Aren't"	printf("Ain't");
"aren't"	printf("ain't");
"Isn't"		printf("Ain't");
"isn't"		printf("ain't");
"Are not "	printf("Ain't");
"are not "	printf("ain't ");
"Is not "	printf("Ain't ");
" is not "	printf(" ain't ");
"What is th"    printf("Woss");
"what is th"    printf("woss");
"What are you "	printf("Wotcher ");
"what are you "	printf("wotcher ");
"What you are"	printf("Wotcher");
"what you are"	printf("wotcher");
"What you're"	printf("Wotcher");
"what you're"	printf("wotcher");
"What are your"	printf("Wotcher");
"what are your"	printf("wotcher");
"What do you "  printf("Wotcher ");
"what do you "	printf("wotcher ");
"What do your"  printf("Wotcher");
"what do your"	printf("wotcher");
" "H[aeu]llo	printf(" Wotcher");
" "h[aeu]llo	printf(" wotcher");
What		printf("Wot");
what		printf("wot");
Were		printf("Was");
were 		printf("was");
Bother		printf("Ars");
bother		printf("ars");
Mother		printf("Muvver");
Other		printf("Uvver");
other		printf("uvver");
Father		printf("Favver");
father		printf("favver");
Rather		printf("Ravver");
rather		printf("ravver");
Weather		printf("Wevver");
weather		printf("wevver");
Leather		printf("Levver");
leather		printf("levver");
Wither		printf("Wivver");
wither		printf("wivver");
Either		printf("Eever");
either		printf("eever");
With		printf("Wiv");
with		printf("wiv");
Anything	printf("Anyfink");
anything	printf("anyfink");
Something	printf("Sumfink");
something	printf("sumfink");
Nothing		printf("Nuffink");
nothing		printf("nuffink");
guitars		printf("spoons");
guitar		printf("spoons");
drums		printf("spoons");
drum		printf("spoons");
trumpets	printf("spoons");
trumpet		printf("spoons");
violins		printf("spoons");
violin		printf("spoons");
clarinets	printf("spoons");
clarinet	printf("spoons");
trombones	printf("spoons");
trombone	printf("spoons");
oboes		printf("spoons");
oboe		printf("spoons");
flutes		printf("spoons");
flute		printf("spoons");
tubas		printf("spoons");
tuba		printf("spoons");
Data		printf("Info");
data		printf("info");
Directory	printf("Lockup");
directory	printf("lockup");
Directories	printf("Lockups");
directories	printf("lockups");
[Pp]rocess	{   switch(rand()%2)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
		    case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
		    }
		}
[Cc]omputer	printf("French Tutor");
[Bb]yte		printf("Jimmy White");
[Ff]iles	printf("Nobby Stiles");
[Ff]ile		printf("Royal Mile");
[Ll]anguage	printf("'Am Sandwich");
[Zz]ero		printf("Emperor Nero");
[Jj]ob		printf("Uncle Bob");
[Ss]hell	printf("Bow Bell");
[Ss]ave		printf("Chas'n'Dave");
[Ll]oad		printf("Old Kent Road");
[Mm]ouse	printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
[Bb]uffer	printf("Sausage Stuffer");
[Kk]eyboard	printf("Henry Ford");
[Mm]anual	printf("Cocker Spaniel");
[Ss]creen	printf("James Dean");
[Pp]rinter	printf("'Arold Pinter");
[Pp]lotter	printf("Pansy Potter");
[Cc]ompiler	printf("Martin Tyler");
[Ss]tring	printf("Emperor Ming");
[Bb]rain	printf("Michael Caine");
[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll]	{   switch(rand()%2)
				    {
				    case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
				    case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
				    }
				}
[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll]	printf("Johnny Ball");
[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn]	printf("Manfred Mann");
[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll]	printf("Albert Hall");
Stopped		printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
stopped		printf("'ad the mockers put on");
Stopping	printf("Putting the mockers on");
stopping	printf("putting the mockers on");
stops		printf("puts the mockers on");
stop		printf("put the mockers on");
STOP		printf("Put The Mockers On");
[Ll]ondoner	printf("Cockney");
friend		{   switch(rand()%3)
		    {
		    case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
		    case 1: printf("mate"); break;
		    case 2: printf("china"); break;
		    }
		}
"a h"		printf("an '");
"A h"		printf("An '");
" h"		printf(" '");
" H"		printf(" '");
" C-"		printf(" Bruce Lee-");
" C "		{        switch(rand()%4)
			 {
			 case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
			 case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
			 case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
			 case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
			 }
		}
" C."		printf(" Circus Flea.");
Th		printf("F");
Wh		printf("W");
wh		printf("w");
aw		printf("or");
" sing"		ECHO;
" ring"		ECHO;
"ing "		printf("in' ");
" th"		printf(" f");
"th"		printf("ff");
". "		{   switch(rand()%32)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
		    case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
		    case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
		    case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
		    default: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
"? "		{   switch(rand()%3)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
		    case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
		    case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
		    }
		}
"! "		{   switch(rand()%6)
		    {
		    case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
		    case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
		    case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
		    case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
		    case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
		    case 5: ECHO; break;
		    }
		}
.		printf(yytext);
\n		printf("\n");
%%

main()
{
	srand(getpid());
	yylex();
}
Commit	Line	Data
7e3afbba	1	%{
	2	/*
	3	* ken:
	4	* will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
	5	* of computer terminology.
	6	*
	7	* Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
	8	* Make copies if you want etc.etc.
	9	*
	10	* ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
	11	* who speaks somewhat like that.
	12	*/
	13	%}
	14	%e 3000
	15	%p 6000
	16	%n 1000
	17	%k 500
	18	%a 4000
	19	%o 2000
	20	BW [ ]
	21	EW [ .,;!?]
	22	%{
	23	char buf[128];
	24	%}
	25
	26	%%
	27
	28	stairs printf("apples and pears");
	29	Downstairs printf("Down the apples and pears");
	30	downstairs printf("down the apples and pears");
	31	Upstairs printf("Up the apples and pears");
	32	upstairs printf("up the apples and pears");
	33	[Mm]outh printf("North and South");
	34	[Ff]ace printf("Boat Race");
	35	[Tt]rouble printf("Barney Rubble");
	36	wife { switch(rand()%2)
	37	{
	38	case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
	39	case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
	40	}
	41	}
	42	Road printf("Frog and Toad");
	43	" road" printf(" frog and toad");
	44	"pub " printf("rub-a-dub ");
	45	" bar " printf(" boozer ");
	46	" husband" printf(" ole man");
	47	Party printf("Knees-up");
	48	party printf("knees-up");
	49	Parties printf("Knees-ups");
	50	parties printf("knees-ups");
	51	My printf("Me");
	52	" my" printf(" me");
	53	Your printf("Yer");
	54	your printf("yer");
	55	"You are " printf("Yer ");
	56	"you are " printf("yer ");
	57	You printf("Yer");
	58	you printf("yer");
	59	Those printf("Them");
	60	those printf("them");
	61	" those" printf(" them");
	62	"(those" printf("(them");
	63	"The " { switch(rand()%5)
	64	{
65	case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
66	default: ECHO; break;
67	}
68	}
69	"The" ECHO;
70	" the " { switch(rand()%5)
71	{
72	case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
73	default: ECHO; break;
74	}
75	}
76	[" "(]the ECHO;
77	"the " { switch(rand()%5)
78	{
79	case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
80	default: ECHO; break;
81	}
82	}
83	[Tt]his ECHO;
84	[" "(]this ECHO;
85	[Tt]hat ECHO;
86	[" "(]that ECHO;
87	Thus printf("So");
88	" thus" printf(" so");
89	"(thus" printf("(so");
90	"thus" printf("so");
91	[Tt]han ECHO;
92	[" "(]than ECHO;
93	Who ECHO;
94	who ECHO;
95	" old " printf(" ole ");
96	" to " printf(" ter ");
97	"Aren't you " printf("Aintcha ");
98	"aren't you " printf("aintcha ");
99	"Aren't" printf("Ain't");
100	"aren't" printf("ain't");
101	"Isn't" printf("Ain't");
102	"isn't" printf("ain't");
103	"Are not " printf("Ain't");
104	"are not " printf("ain't ");
105	"Is not " printf("Ain't ");
106	" is not " printf(" ain't ");
107	"What is th" printf("Woss");
108	"what is th" printf("woss");
109	"What are you " printf("Wotcher ");
110	"what are you " printf("wotcher ");
111	"What you are" printf("Wotcher");
112	"what you are" printf("wotcher");
113	"What you're" printf("Wotcher");
114	"what you're" printf("wotcher");
115	"What are your" printf("Wotcher");
116	"what are your" printf("wotcher");
117	"What do you " printf("Wotcher ");
118	"what do you " printf("wotcher ");
119	"What do your" printf("Wotcher");
120	"what do your" printf("wotcher");
121	" "H[aeu]llo printf(" Wotcher");
122	" "h[aeu]llo printf(" wotcher");
123	What printf("Wot");
124	what printf("wot");
125	Were printf("Was");
126	were printf("was");
127	Bother printf("Ars");
128	bother printf("ars");
129	Mother printf("Muvver");
130	Other printf("Uvver");
131	other printf("uvver");
132	Father printf("Favver");
133	father printf("favver");
134	Rather printf("Ravver");
135	rather printf("ravver");
136	Weather printf("Wevver");
137	weather printf("wevver");
138	Leather printf("Levver");
139	leather printf("levver");
140	Wither printf("Wivver");
141	wither printf("wivver");
142	Either printf("Eever");
143	either printf("eever");
144	With printf("Wiv");
145	with printf("wiv");
146	Anything printf("Anyfink");
147	anything printf("anyfink");
148	Something printf("Sumfink");
149	something printf("sumfink");
150	Nothing printf("Nuffink");
151	nothing printf("nuffink");
152	guitars printf("spoons");
153	guitar printf("spoons");
154	drums printf("spoons");
155	drum printf("spoons");
156	trumpets printf("spoons");
157	trumpet printf("spoons");
158	violins printf("spoons");
159	violin printf("spoons");
160	clarinets printf("spoons");
161	clarinet printf("spoons");
162	trombones printf("spoons");
163	trombone printf("spoons");
164	oboes printf("spoons");
165	oboe printf("spoons");
166	flutes printf("spoons");
167	flute printf("spoons");
168	tubas printf("spoons");
169	tuba printf("spoons");
170	Data printf("Info");
171	data printf("info");
172	Directory printf("Lockup");
173	directory printf("lockup");
174	Directories printf("Lockups");
175	directories printf("lockups");
176	[Pp]rocess { switch(rand()%2)
177	{
178	case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
179	case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
180	}
181	}
182	[Cc]omputer printf("French Tutor");
183	[Bb]yte printf("Jimmy White");
184	[Ff]iles printf("Nobby Stiles");
185	[Ff]ile printf("Royal Mile");
186	[Ll]anguage printf("'Am Sandwich");
187	[Zz]ero printf("Emperor Nero");
188	[Jj]ob printf("Uncle Bob");
189	[Ss]hell printf("Bow Bell");
190	[Ss]ave printf("Chas'n'Dave");
191	[Ll]oad printf("Old Kent Road");
192	[Mm]ouse printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
193	[Bb]uffer printf("Sausage Stuffer");
194	[Kk]eyboard printf("Henry Ford");
195	[Mm]anual printf("Cocker Spaniel");
196	[Ss]creen printf("James Dean");
197	[Pp]rinter printf("'Arold Pinter");
198	[Pp]lotter printf("Pansy Potter");
199	[Cc]ompiler printf("Martin Tyler");
200	[Ss]tring printf("Emperor Ming");
201	[Bb]rain printf("Michael Caine");
202	[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll] { switch(rand()%2)
203	{
204	case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
205	case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
206	}
207	}
208	[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll] printf("Johnny Ball");
209	[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn] printf("Manfred Mann");
210	[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll] printf("Albert Hall");
211	Stopped printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
212	stopped printf("'ad the mockers put on");
213	Stopping printf("Putting the mockers on");
214	stopping printf("putting the mockers on");
215	stops printf("puts the mockers on");
216	stop printf("put the mockers on");
217	STOP printf("Put The Mockers On");
218	[Ll]ondoner printf("Cockney");
219	friend { switch(rand()%3)
220	{
221	case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
222	case 1: printf("mate"); break;
223	case 2: printf("china"); break;
224	}
225	}
226	"a h" printf("an '");
227	"A h" printf("An '");
228	" h" printf(" '");
229	" H" printf(" '");
230	" C-" printf(" Bruce Lee-");
231	" C " { switch(rand()%4)
232	{
233	case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
234	case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
235	case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
236	case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
237	}
238	}
239	" C." printf(" Circus Flea.");
240	Th printf("F");
241	Wh printf("W");
242	wh printf("w");
243	aw printf("or");
244	" sing" ECHO;
245	" ring" ECHO;
246	"ing " printf("in' ");
247	" th" printf(" f");
248	"th" printf("ff");
249	". " { switch(rand()%32)
250	{
251	case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
252	case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
253	case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
254	case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
255	default: ECHO; break;
256	}
257	}
258	"? " { switch(rand()%3)
259	{
260	case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
261	case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
262	case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
263	}
264	}
265	"! " { switch(rand()%6)
266	{
267	case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
268	case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
269	case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
270	case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
271	case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
272	case 5: ECHO; break;
273	}
274	}
275	. printf(yytext);
276	\n printf("\n");
277	%%
278
279	main()
280	{
281	srand(getpid());
282	yylex();
283	}