cockney.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Cockney English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10 %}
  11
  12 BW [ \t\n]
  13 SP [ \t]+
  14 EW [ \t.,;!\?$]
  15
  16 %Start junk
  17
  18 %%
  19
  20 %{
  21         void eos() {
  22             if (yytext[yyleng-1] == '.')
  23                 dintI();
  24             else
  25                 unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
  26         }
  27
  28         void plastc() {
  29             unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
  30         }
  31 %}
  32
  33 <junk>.                 {       srandom(time(0L)); unput(yytext[0]); BEGIN 0; }
  34 {BW}[Tt]he{EW}          {       ECHO; bloody(); }
  35 {BW}[Ss]teal{EW}        {       printf("%c%cick",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  36                                 eos();
  37                         }
  38 {BW}[Ss]tole{EW}        {       printf("%c%cicked",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  39                                 eos();
  40                         }
  41 {BW}tired                       pooped();
  42 {BW}were{EW}            |
  43 {BW}was{EW}             {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  44 [Hh]ello                        printf("'%cllo", caseify('u'));
  45 {BW}[Hh]                        printf("%c'",yytext[0]);
  46 {BW}[Yy]our{EW}         {       printf("%.2ser",yytext); eos(); }
  47 {BW}it{EW}              {       printf("%.2s'",yytext); eos(); }
  48 {BW}go{EW}              {       printf("%.2sow",yytext); eos(); }
  49 {BW}and{EW}             {       printf("%c'n'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  50 {BW}my{EW}              {       printf("%.2se",yytext); eos(); }
  51 {BW}th(is|at){EW}       {       printf("%.5s", yytext); eos(); }
  52 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}went{EW}   |
  53 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}had{EW}    |
  54 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}did{EW}    {       printf("%.*s",yyleng-1,yytext);
  55                                 set_did(2);
  56                                 eos();
  57                         }
  58 {BW}I{SP}went{EW}       |
  59 {BW}I{SP}had{EW}        |
  60 {BW}I{SP}did{EW}        {       I();
  61                                 printf(" did");
  62                                 set_did(1);
  63                                 eos();
  64                         }
  65 {BW}I{EW}               {       I(); eos(); }
  66
  67 [Yy]ou{SP}[^aeiouy]     {       printf("%c'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  68 [Ww]hat{SP}are{EW}      {       printf("%cotta", yytext[0]); eos(); }
  69
  70 {BW}other               |
  71 [MmNnRr]other                   printf("%cuvver",yytext[0]);
  72 [MmSs]outh                      printf("%cowf", yytext[0]);
  73 [cYy]outh                       printf("%coof", yytext[0]);
  74 [^o]uth                         printf("%.2sf",yytext);
  75 {BW}th[^e]              |
  76 [AaEeIiOo]th[^em]       {       printf("%cf",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  77 oothe                   |
  78 e[ei]the                {       printf("%c%cve", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  79 ooth                    |
  80 eeth                    {       printf("%c%cf", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  81 [aei]the                {       printf("%cvv",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  82 th                              putchar('v');
  83 a[km]e{EW}              {       printf("i%ce",yytext[1]); eos(); }
  84 [^r][Oo]ld                      printf("%.2swld",yytext);
  85 [^AaEeIiOoUu][uo]nd[a-z]        printf("%cunn%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  86 ing{EW}                 {       printf("in'"); eos(); }
  87 [^dg]get+[^h]                   printf("%cge'%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  88 ail                             printf("aiw");
  89 any                             printf("enny");
  90 [rSs]ay{EW}             {       printf("%cigh",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  91 way                             printf("why");
  92 [BbHh]it{EW}            {       printf("%ci'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  93 ait{EW}                 {       printf("ite"); eos(); }
  94 ime{EW}                 {       printf("oime"); eos(); }
  95 [^e]ize[^n]                     printf("%coize%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  96 [^e]ight                        printf("%coit",*yytext);
  97 [a-z]"?"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
  98                                 printf("%s roit?",yytext);
  99                                 clear_did();
 100                         }
 101 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%c", yytext[0]); dintI(); }
 102 \n                              printf("\n");
 103
 104 %%
 105
 106 caseify(c)
 107 char c;
 108 {
 109     if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 110         return (c - ' ');
 111     else
 112         return (c);
 113 }
 114
 115
 116 I()
 117 {
 118 /*    extern long random(); */
 119
 120     if (random() % 100 < 20)
 121         printf("%cOy",yytext[0]);
 122     else
 123         printf("%cI",yytext[0]);
 124 }
 125
 126 static short b_count = 0;
 127 static short b_which = 0;
 128
 129 bloody()
 130 {
 131         if (b_count++ % 2 == 0) {
 132                 switch (b_which++ % 4) {
 133                         case 0: printf("bloody "); break;
 134                         case 1: printf("flinkin' "); break;
 135                         case 2: printf("bleedin' "); break;
 136                         case 3: printf("soddin' "); break;
 137                         }
 138                 }
 139 }
 140
 141 static short did = 0;
 142
 143 set_did(val)
 144 {
 145     did = val;
 146 }
 147
 148 clear_did()
 149 {
 150     did = 0;
 151 }
 152
 153 dintI()
 154 {
 155 /*    extern long random(); */
 156
 157     if ((did == 1) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 158         printf(", didn'I?");
 159     else if ((did == 2) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 160         printf(", din't we?");
 161     else
 162         printf(".");
 163     clear_did();
 164 }
 165
 166 pooped()
 167 {
 168 /*    extern long random(); */
 169
 170     switch (random() % 3) {
 171         case 0:
 172             printf("%cknackered", yytext[0]);
 173             break;
 174         case 1:
 175             printf("%cshagged out", yytext[0]);
 176             break;
 177         case 2:
 178             printf("%cdone in", yytext[0]);
 179             break;
 180         }
 181 }
 182
 183 expletive()
 184 {
 185 /*
 186 Blimey
 187 Stright a light
 188 'Strewth
 189 Cor blimey
 190 */
 191 }