cockney.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Cockney English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10 %}
  11
  12 BW [ \t\n]
  13 SP [ \t]+
  14 EW [ \t.,;!\?$]
  15
  16 %Start junk
  17
  18 %%
  19 <junk>.                 {       srandom(time(0L)); unput(yytext[0]); BEGIN 0; }
  20 {BW}[Tt]he{EW}          {       ECHO; bloody(); }
  21 {BW}[Ss]teal{EW}        {       printf("%c%cick",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  22                                 eos();
  23                         }
  24 {BW}[Ss]tole{EW}        {       printf("%c%cicked",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  25                                 eos();
  26                         }
  27 {BW}tired                       pooped();
  28 {BW}were{EW}            |
  29 {BW}was{EW}             {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  30 [Hh]ello                        printf("'%cllo", caseify('u'));
  31 {BW}[Hh]                        printf("%c'",yytext[0]);
  32 {BW}[Yy]our{EW}         {       printf("%.2ser",yytext); eos(); }
  33 {BW}it{EW}              {       printf("%.2s'",yytext); eos(); }
  34 {BW}go{EW}              {       printf("%.2sow",yytext); eos(); }
  35 {BW}and{EW}             {       printf("%c'n'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  36 {BW}my{EW}              {       printf("%.2se",yytext); eos(); }
  37 {BW}th(is|at){EW}       {       printf("%.5s", yytext); eos(); }
  38 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}went{EW}   |
  39 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}had{EW}    |
  40 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}did{EW}    {       printf("%.*s",yyleng-1,yytext);
  41                                 set_did(2);
  42                                 eos();
  43                         }
  44 {BW}I{SP}went{EW}       |
  45 {BW}I{SP}had{EW}        |
  46 {BW}I{SP}did{EW}        {       I();
  47                                 printf(" did");
  48                                 set_did(1);
  49                                 eos();
  50                         }
  51 {BW}I{EW}               {       I(); eos(); }
  52
  53 [Yy]ou{SP}[^aeiouy]     {       printf("%c'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  54 [Ww]hat{SP}are{EW}      {       printf("%cotta", yytext[0]); eos(); }
  55
  56 {BW}other               |
  57 [MmNnRr]other                   printf("%cuvver",yytext[0]);
  58 [MmSs]outh                      printf("%cowf", yytext[0]);
  59 [cYy]outh                       printf("%coof", yytext[0]);
  60 [^o]uth                         printf("%.2sf",yytext);
  61 {BW}th[^e]              |
  62 [AaEeIiOo]th[^em]       {       printf("%cf",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  63 oothe                   |
  64 e[ei]the                {       printf("%c%cve", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  65 ooth                    |
  66 eeth                    {       printf("%c%cf", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  67 [aei]the                {       printf("%cvv",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  68 th                              putchar('v');
  69 a[km]e{EW}              {       printf("i%ce",yytext[1]); eos(); }
  70 [^r][Oo]ld                      printf("%.2swld",yytext);
  71 [^AaEeIiOoUu][uo]nd[a-z]        printf("%cunn%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  72 ing{EW}                 {       printf("in'"); eos(); }
  73 [^dg]get+[^h]                   printf("%cge'%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  74 ail                             printf("aiw");
  75 any                             printf("enny");
  76 [rSs]ay{EW}             {       printf("%cigh",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  77 way                             printf("why");
  78 [BbHh]it{EW}            {       printf("%ci'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  79 ait{EW}                 {       printf("ite"); eos(); }
  80 ime{EW}                 {       printf("oime"); eos(); }
  81 [^e]ize[^n]                     printf("%coize%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  82 [^e]ight                        printf("%coit",*yytext);
  83 [a-z]"?"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
  84                                 printf("%s roit?",yytext);
  85                                 clear_did();
  86                         }
  87 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%c", yytext[0]); dintI(); }
  88 \n                              printf("\n");
  89
  90 %%
  91
  92 eos()
  93 {
  94     if (yytext[yyleng-1] == '.')
  95         dintI();
  96     else
  97         unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
  98 }
  99
 100 plastc()
 101 {
 102     unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
 103 }
 104
 105 caseify(c)
 106 char c;
 107 {
 108     if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 109         return (c - ' ');
 110     else
 111         return (c);
 112 }
 113
 114
 115 I()
 116 {
 117 /*    extern long random(); */
 118
 119     if (random() % 100 < 20)
 120         printf("%cOy",yytext[0]);
 121     else
 122         printf("%cI",yytext[0]);
 123 }
 124
 125 static short b_count = 0;
 126 static short b_which = 0;
 127
 128 bloody()
 129 {
 130         if (b_count++ % 2 == 0) {
 131                 switch (b_which++ % 4) {
 132                         case 0: printf("bloody "); break;
 133                         case 1: printf("flinkin' "); break;
 134                         case 2: printf("bleedin' "); break;
 135                         case 3: printf("soddin' "); break;
 136                         }
 137                 }
 138 }
 139
 140 static short did = 0;
 141
 142 set_did(val)
 143 {
 144     did = val;
 145 }
 146
 147 clear_did()
 148 {
 149     did = 0;
 150 }
 151
 152 dintI()
 153 {
 154 /*    extern long random(); */
 155
 156     if ((did == 1) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 157         printf(", didn'I?");
 158     else if ((did == 2) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 159         printf(", din't we?");
 160     else
 161         printf(".");
 162     clear_did();
 163 }
 164
 165 pooped()
 166 {
 167 /*    extern long random(); */
 168
 169     switch (random() % 3) {
 170         case 0:
 171             printf("%cknackered", yytext[0]);
 172             break;
 173         case 1:
 174             printf("%cshagged out", yytext[0]);
 175             break;
 176         case 2:
 177             printf("%cdone in", yytext[0]);
 178             break;
 179         }
 180 }
 181
 182 expletive()
 183 {
 184 /*
 185 Blimey
 186 Stright a light
 187 'Strewth
 188 Cor blimey
 189 */
 190 }