cockney.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Cockney English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10 %}
  11
  12 BW [ \t\n]
  13 SP [ \t]+
  14 EW [ \t.,;!\?$]
  15
  16 %Start junk
  17
  18 %option noyywrap
  19
  20 %%
  21
  22 %{
  23 void eos();
  24 void plastc();
  25 %}
  26
  27 <junk>.                 {       srandom(time(0L)); unput(yytext[0]); BEGIN 0; }
  28 {BW}[Tt]he{EW}          {       ECHO; bloody(); }
  29 {BW}[Ss]teal{EW}        {       printf("%c%cick",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  30                                 eos();
  31                         }
  32 {BW}[Ss]tole{EW}        {       printf("%c%cicked",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
  33                                 eos();
  34                         }
  35 {BW}tired                       pooped();
  36 {BW}were{EW}            |
  37 {BW}was{EW}             {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  38 [Hh]ello                        printf("'%cllo", caseify('u'));
  39 {BW}[Hh]                        printf("%c'",yytext[0]);
  40 {BW}[Yy]our{EW}         {       printf("%.2ser",yytext); eos(); }
  41 {BW}it{EW}              {       printf("%.2s'",yytext); eos(); }
  42 {BW}go{EW}              {       printf("%.2sow",yytext); eos(); }
  43 {BW}and{EW}             {       printf("%c'n'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  44 {BW}my{EW}              {       printf("%.2se",yytext); eos(); }
  45 {BW}th(is|at){EW}       {       printf("%.5s", yytext); eos(); }
  46 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}went{EW}   |
  47 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}had{EW}    |
  48 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}did{EW}    {       printf("%.*s",yyleng-1,yytext);
  49                                 set_did(2);
  50                                 eos();
  51                         }
  52 {BW}I{SP}went{EW}       |
  53 {BW}I{SP}had{EW}        |
  54 {BW}I{SP}did{EW}        {       I();
  55                                 printf(" did");
  56                                 set_did(1);
  57                                 eos();
  58                         }
  59 {BW}I{EW}               {       I(); eos(); }
  60
  61 [Yy]ou{SP}[^aeiouy]     {       printf("%c'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  62 [Ww]hat{SP}are{EW}      {       printf("%cotta", yytext[0]); eos(); }
  63
  64 {BW}other               |
  65 [MmNnRr]other                   printf("%cuvver",yytext[0]);
  66 [MmSs]outh                      printf("%cowf", yytext[0]);
  67 [cYy]outh                       printf("%coof", yytext[0]);
  68 [^o]uth                         printf("%.2sf",yytext);
  69 {BW}th[^e]              |
  70 [AaEeIiOo]th[^em]       {       printf("%cf",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  71 oothe                   |
  72 e[ei]the                {       printf("%c%cve", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  73 ooth                    |
  74 eeth                    {       printf("%c%cf", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
  75 [aei]the                {       printf("%cvv",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
  76 th                              putchar('v');
  77 a[km]e{EW}              {       printf("i%ce",yytext[1]); eos(); }
  78 [^r][Oo]ld                      printf("%.2swld",yytext);
  79 [^AaEeIiOoUu][uo]nd[a-z]        printf("%cunn%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  80 ing{EW}                 {       printf("in'"); eos(); }
  81 [^dg]get+[^h]                   printf("%cge'%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  82 ail                             printf("aiw");
  83 any                             printf("enny");
  84 [rSs]ay{EW}             {       printf("%cigh",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  85 way                             printf("why");
  86 [BbHh]it{EW}            {       printf("%ci'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
  87 ait{EW}                 {       printf("ite"); eos(); }
  88 ime{EW}                 {       printf("oime"); eos(); }
  89 [^e]ize[^n]                     printf("%coize%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
  90 [^e]ight                        printf("%coit",*yytext);
  91 [a-z]"?"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
  92                                 printf("%s roit?",yytext);
  93                                 clear_did();
  94                         }
  95 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%c", yytext[0]); dintI(); }
  96 \n                              printf("\n");
  97
  98 %%
  99
 100 void eos()
 101 {
 102     if (yytext[yyleng-1] == '.')
 103     dintI();
 104     else
 105     unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
 106 }
 107
 108 void plastc()
 109 {
 110     unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
 111 }
 112
 113 caseify(c)
 114 char c;
 115 {
 116     if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 117         return (c - ' ');
 118     else
 119         return (c);
 120 }
 121
 122
 123 I()
 124 {
 125 /*    extern long random(); */
 126
 127     if (random() % 100 < 20)
 128         printf("%cOy",yytext[0]);
 129     else
 130         printf("%cI",yytext[0]);
 131 }
 132
 133 static short b_count = 0;
 134 static short b_which = 0;
 135
 136 bloody()
 137 {
 138         if (b_count++ % 2 == 0) {
 139                 switch (b_which++ % 4) {
 140                         case 0: printf("bloody "); break;
 141                         case 1: printf("flinkin' "); break;
 142                         case 2: printf("bleedin' "); break;
 143                         case 3: printf("soddin' "); break;
 144                         }
 145                 }
 146 }
 147
 148 static short did = 0;
 149
 150 set_did(val)
 151 {
 152     did = val;
 153 }
 154
 155 clear_did()
 156 {
 157     did = 0;
 158 }
 159
 160 dintI()
 161 {
 162 /*    extern long random(); */
 163
 164     if ((did == 1) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 165         printf(", didn'I?");
 166     else if ((did == 2) && (random() % 100 < 50))
 167         printf(", din't we?");
 168     else
 169         printf(".");
 170     clear_did();
 171 }
 172
 173 pooped()
 174 {
 175 /*    extern long random(); */
 176
 177     switch (random() % 3) {
 178         case 0:
 179             printf("%cknackered", yytext[0]);
 180             break;
 181         case 1:
 182             printf("%cshagged out", yytext[0]);
 183             break;
 184         case 2:
 185             printf("%cdone in", yytext[0]);
 186             break;
 187         }
 188 }
 189
 190 expletive()
 191 {
 192 /*
 193 Blimey
 194 Stright a light
 195 'Strewth
 196 Cor blimey
 197 */
 198 }