jive.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10
  11 %}
  12 %e 1700
  13 %p 4000
  14 %n 700
  15 %k 450
  16 %a 1700
  17 %o 1500
  18 BW [ \t\(]
  19 EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)]
  20 %%
  21 %{
  22         void plastc()
  23         {
  24                 unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
  25         }
  26 %}
  27 @[Bb]egin(.*)           |
  28 ".so ".*$                       printf("%s", yytext);
  29 {BW}send                        printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]);
  30 program+                        printf("honky code");
  31 [Uu]nix                         printf("slow mo-fo");
  32 UNIX                            printf("dat slow mo-fo");
  33 actual                          printf("ak'shul");
  34 {BW}take                        printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]);
  35 {BW}took                |
  36 {BW}take[ns]                    printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]);
  37 [Mm]exican                      printf("%cet-back", caseify('w'));
  38 [Ii]talian                      printf("%creaser", caseify('g'));
  39 {BW}big{EW}             {       printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  40 fool                            printf("honkyfool");
  41 modem                           printf("doodad");
  42 {BW}he{EW}              {       printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  43 "e the"{EW}             |
  44 "a the"{EW}             |
  45 "t the"{EW}             |
  46 "d the"{EW}             {       printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();}
  47 wife                    |
  48 woman                           printf("mama");
  49 girl                            printf("goat");
  50 something                       printf("sump'n");
  51 {BW}lie                         printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]);
  52 -o-                             printf("-on rebound-");
  53 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%s", yytext);expletive();}
  54 !                               printf(".  Right On!");
  55 [Ss]ure                         printf("%cho'", yytext[0]);
  56 get                             printf("git");
  57 "will have"{EW}         |
  58 "will"{EW}              |
  59 "got to"{EW}            {       printf("gots'ta");plastc();}
  60 "I am"                          printf("I's gots'ta be");
  61 "aren't"                |
  62 "am not"                |
  63 "have not"              |
  64 "is not"                |
  65 "are not"                       printf("ain't");
  66 {BW}see{EW}             {       printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  67 {BW}are{EW}             {       printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  68 {BW}hat{EW}             {       printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  69 {BW}shoe                        printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]);
  70 {BW}"have to"{EW}       |
  71 {BW}has{EW}             {       printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  72 have                            printf("gots'");
  73 {BW}go{EW}              |
  74 {BW}"come over"{EW}     |
  75 {BW}come{EW}            {       printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  76 buy                             printf("steal");
  77 {BW}car{EW}             {       printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  78 drive                           printf("roll");
  79 {BW}food                        printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]);
  80 {BW}eat{EW}             {       printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  81 drink                           printf("guzzle");
  82 black                   |
  83 negro                           printf("brother");
  84 white                           printf("honky");
  85 nigger                          printf("gentleman");
  86 nice                            printf("supa' fine");
  87 {BW}person                      printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]);
  88 [Pp]eople                       printf("%cucka's", caseify('s'));
  89 {BW}thing                       thing(yytext[0]);
  90 house{EW}               {       printf("crib");plastc();}
  91 home                            printf("plantation");
  92 name                            printf("dojigger");
  93 {BW}path                        printf("%calley",yytext[0]);
  94 [Cc]omputer                     printf("%clunker", yytext[0]);
  95 or                              printf("o'");
  96 president                       printf("super-dude");
  97 "prime minister"                printf("prahm mistah");
  98 government                      printf("guv'ment");
  99 knew                            printf("knowed");
 100 [Bb]ecause                      printf("'%cuz", caseify('c'));
 101 [Yy]our                         printf("%co'", yytext[0]);
 102 [Ff]our                         printf("%coe", yytext[0]);
 103 got                             printf("gots");
 104 young                           printf("yung");
 105 you                             printf("ya'");
 106 You                             printf("You's");
 107 first                           printf("fust");
 108 police                          printf("honky pigs");
 109 {BW}string                      printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]);
 110 {BW}read                        printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]);
 111 write                           printf("scribble");
 112 think{EW}               {       printf("thin'");plastc();}
 113 with                            printf("wif");
 114 other                           printf("uthu'");
 115 [Tt]hr                          printf("%c'r", yytext[0]);
 116 [Tt]h                           printf("%c", caseify('d'));
 117 ing                             printf("in'");
 118 {BW}a{EW}               {       printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 119 {BW}to{EW}              {       printf("%ct'",yytext[0]);
 120                                 if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ')
 121                                         plastc();
 122                         }
 123 tion                            printf("shun");
 124 [Aa]lmost                       printf("%cos'", caseify('m'));
 125 from                            printf("fum");
 126 [Yy]"ou're"                     printf("%couse", yytext[0]);
 127 alright                 |
 128 okay                            printf("coo'");
 129 [Aa]nd                          printf("%cn'", yytext[0]);
 130 known                           printf("knode");
 131 want                            printf("wants'");
 132 beat                            printf("whup'ed");
 133 ile                             printf("ah'l");
 134 er{EW}                  {       printf("uh");plastc();}
 135 [a-z]sti                        printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]);
 136 tute                            printf("toot");
 137 exp                             printf("'sp");
 138 exs                     |
 139 exc                             printf("'s");
 140 {BW}ex                          printf("%c'es",yytext[0]);
 141 [ae]ct{EW}              {       printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
 142 like                            printf("likes");
 143 done                    |
 144 did                             printf("dun did");
 145 "kind of"                       printf("kind'a");
 146 women                           printf("honky chicks");
 147 {BW}man{EW}             {       printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 148 {BW}men{EW}             |
 149 {BW}mens{EW}            {       printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 150 injured                         printf("hosed");
 151 killed                  |
 152 dead                            printf("wasted");
 153 good                            printf("baaaad");
 154 open{EW}                {       printf("jimmey");plastc();}
 155 opened{EW}              {       printf("jimmey'd");plastc();}
 156 {BW}very                        printf("%creal",yytext[0]);
 157 per                             printf("puh'");
 158 oar                             printf("o'");
 159 {BW}can                         printf("%ckin",yytext[0]);
 160 {BW}just{EW}            {       printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 161 [Dd]etroit                      printf("Mo-town");
 162 [Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric"      printf("da' cave");
 163 {BW}believe                     printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]);
 164 [Ii]"ndianapolis"               printf("Nap-town");
 165 Daniel                  |
 166 Dan                             printf("Liva' Lips");
 167 Reagan                          printf("Kingfish");
 168 Ronald{EW}              |
 169 Ron{EW}                 {       printf("Rolo");plastc();}
 170 John                            printf("Rastus");
 171 Jim                             printf("Bo-Jangles");
 172 pontiff                 |
 173 pope                            printf("wiz'");
 174 [Pp]ravda                       printf("dat commie rag");
 175 broken                          printf("bugger'd");
 176 strange{EW}             {       printf("funky");plastc();}
 177 dance{EW}               {       printf("boogy");plastc();}
 178 ask                             printf("ax'");
 179 {BW}so{EW}              {       printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 180 heard                           printf("'hoid");
 181 head                            printf("'haid");
 182 boss                            printf("main man");
 183 money                           printf("bre'd");
 184 [a-z]":"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
 185                                 printf("%s dig dis:",yytext);
 186                         }
 187 amateur                         printf("begina'");
 188 radio                           printf("transista'");
 189 {BW}of{EW}              {       printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 190 which                   |
 191 what                            printf("whut");
 192 "don't"                         printf("doan'");
 193 does                            printf("duz");
 194 {BW}was{EW}             |
 195 {BW}were{EW}            {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 196 {BW}understand                  printf("%cdig",yytext[0]);
 197 {BW}my                          printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]);
 198 again                   |
 199 against                         printf("agin'");
 200 {BW}[Ii]{EW}            {       printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 201 meta                            printf("meta-fuckin'");
 202 cally                           printf("c'l");
 203 %%
 204
 205 caseify(c)
 206 char c;
 207 {
 208         if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 209                 return (c - ' ');
 210         else
 211                 return (c);
 212 }
 213
 214 thing(c)
 215 char c;
 216 {
 217         static short    count = 0;
 218
 219         putchar(c);
 220         switch (count++ % 4) {
 221                 case 0: case 2:
 222                         printf("thang");
 223                         break;
 224                 case 1:
 225                         printf("doohickey");
 226                         break;
 227                 case 3:
 228                         printf("wahtahmellun");
 229                         break;
 230                 }
 231 }
 232 expletive()
 233 {
 234         static short    count = 0;
 235         static short    which = 0;
 236
 237         if (count++ % 4 == 0) {
 238                 switch (which++ % 5) {
 239                         case 0: printf("  What it is, Mama!"); break;
 240                         case 1: printf("  Ya' know?"); break;
 241                         case 2: printf("  Sheeeiit."); break;
 242                         case 3: printf("  Ya' dig?"); break;
 243                         case 4: printf("  Git down!"); break;
 244                         }
 245                 }
 246 }
 247
 248 /*
 249  * Bugs:
 250  *
 251  * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or:
 252  * it do, but gets a leading space
 253  */