moo.l

   1 %e 2000
   2 %p 5000
   3 %n 1000
   4 %k 500
   5 %a 4000
   6 %o 2000
   7 BW [    ]
   8 EW [    .,;!?]
   9
  10 %{
  11 /*
  12 ** The cow filter
  13 **      by Benjamin Elijah Griffin      8 May 1994
  14 **
  15 ** An experiment in lex written instead of a paper on Nietzsche.
  16 **
  17 ** compile like this:
  18 **              lex moo.l
  19 **              cc -o moo lex.yy.c -ll
  20 **              rm lex.yy.c
  21 **
  22 ** use like this:
  23 **              moo < infile > outfile
  24 **      or
  25 **              cat infile | <whatever> | moo | <whatever> > outfile
  26 **
  27 */
  28
  29 char WhAt[]="@(#)Benjamin Elijah Griffin's moo filter for cowtalk (c) 1994\n@(#)$Header: moo.l,v 1.1 94/05/08 23:37:53 bgriffin Final $"
  30 ;
  31
  32 %}
  33
  34 %%
  35
  36 " and "                         printf(" moond ");
  37 [Uu][Nn][Ii][Xx]                printf("Moonix");
  38 [Mm][Ss].[Dd][Oo][Ss]           printf("Moo Dos");
  39 news                            printf("moos");
  40 [Uu]senet                       printf("Moosnet");
  41 " man "                         printf(" mooster ");
  42 " men "                         printf(" moosters ");
  43 woman                           printf("moostress");
  44 women                           printf("moostresses");
  45 pig                             printf("cop");
  46 [Dd]airy.[Ff]armer              printf("Pimp");
  47 [Dd]airy.[Ff]arm                printf("Farm of Ill Repute");
  48 [Bb]eef.[Ff]armer               printf("Slave Driver");
  49 [Bb]eef.[Ff]arm                 printf("Prison");
  50 yogurt                          printf("bacteria culture");
  51 cheese                          printf("smega");
  52 curds                           printf("moist smega");
  53 whey                            printf("bile");
  54 buttermilk                      printf("foul fluid");
  55 butter                          { printf("sphinter lubrication");
  56                                 /* A _Last Tango in Paris_ joke */ }
  57 cream                           printf("honey");
  58 beef                            printf("murdered meat");
  59 grass                           printf("gourmet greenry");
  60 hay                             printf("subsistance rations");
  61 cereal                          printf("fomood");
  62 milkmaid                        printf("rapist");
  63 [Mm]aid.a.milkin        |
  64 [Mm]aid.a.milking               printf("Christmas Rapist");
  65 [Mm]aids.a.milkin       |
  66 [Mm]aids.a.milking              printf("Christmas Rapists");
  67 milking                         printf("rape");
  68 rape                            printf("milking");
  69 rapist                          printf("milkmaid");
  70 veal                            printf("the devil's food");
  71 "bull fighter"                  printf("Grim Reaper");
  72 "bull fight"                    printf("Game of Sorrows");
  73 milk                            printf("mead");
  74 Milk                            printf("Mead");
  75 "cafe con latte"        |
  76 capuccino                       printf("piss water");
  77 " "[In]"ndia "                  printf("Heaven");
  78 " "[In]"ndian "                 printf("heavenly");
  79 "sacred cow"                    printf("God");
  80 silo                            printf("calfeteria");
  81 divin                           printf("bovin");
  82 [Gg][Oo-][Dd]                   printf("Bovinity");
  83 sheep                           printf("dog(s)");
  84 relaxing                        printf("chewing the cud");
  85 relax                           printf("chew the cud");
  86 utter                           printf("udder");
  87 " udder"                        printf(" teat");
  88 " teat"                         printf(" udder");
  89 other                           printf("udder");
  90 ":^)"                           printf("Mooooooooo!");
  91 ":-)"                           printf("Moomoomoomoo!");
  92 "8-)"                           printf("Mooo! Mooo!");
  93
  94 [aeiou]"."              {       *(yytext+1) = 0;
  95                                 printf("%s. Moo.",yytext);
  96                         }
  97 [rtpwy]"."              {       *(yytext+1) = 0;
  98                                 printf("%s. Moo! Moo.",yytext);
  99                         }
 100 "?"                             printf("? Moo.");
 101 "!"                             printf("! MOO!");
 102 oo                              printf("MOO");
 103 o                               printf("oo");
 104 O                               printf("Moo");
 105 you                             printf("moo");
 106 " u"                            printf("moo");
 107 " U"                            printf("Moo");
 108 "uu"                            printf("MOOO");
 109 u                               printf("oo");
 110 U                               printf("Oo");
 111
 112 "."\n                           printf(".\nMooooo. ");
 113
 114 .                               printf("%s",yytext);
 115
 116 %%
 117
 118 main()
 119 {
 120         yylex();
 121 }
 122