dc17484a |
1 | %{ |
2 | /* |
3 | * Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English. |
4 | * No racial or societal slurs are intended. For amusement only. |
5 | * |
6 | * Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole. |
7 | * |
8 | * Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained. |
9 | */ |
7f4e9d5e |
10 | |
dc17484a |
11 | %} |
12 | %e 1700 |
13 | %p 4000 |
14 | %n 700 |
15 | %k 450 |
16 | %a 1700 |
17 | %o 1500 |
18 | BW [ \t\(] |
19 | EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)] |
20 | %% |
fb5da53f |
21 | %{ |
22 | void plastc() |
23 | { |
24 | unput(yytext[yyleng-1]); |
25 | } |
26 | %} |
dc17484a |
27 | @[Bb]egin(.*) | |
28 | ".so ".*$ printf("%s", yytext); |
29 | {BW}send printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]); |
30 | program+ printf("honky code"); |
31 | [Uu]nix printf("slow mo-fo"); |
32 | UNIX printf("dat slow mo-fo"); |
33 | actual printf("ak'shul"); |
34 | {BW}take printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]); |
35 | {BW}took | |
36 | {BW}take[ns] printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]); |
37 | [Mm]exican printf("%cet-back", caseify('w')); |
38 | [Ii]talian printf("%creaser", caseify('g')); |
39 | {BW}big{EW} { printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
40 | fool printf("honkyfool"); |
41 | modem printf("doodad"); |
42 | {BW}he{EW} { printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
43 | "e the"{EW} | |
44 | "a the"{EW} | |
45 | "t the"{EW} | |
46 | "d the"{EW} { printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();} |
47 | wife | |
48 | woman printf("mama"); |
49 | girl printf("goat"); |
50 | something printf("sump'n"); |
51 | {BW}lie printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]); |
52 | -o- printf("-on rebound-"); |
53 | [a-z]"." { printf("%s", yytext);expletive();} |
54 | ! printf(". Right On!"); |
55 | [Ss]ure printf("%cho'", yytext[0]); |
56 | get printf("git"); |
57 | "will have"{EW} | |
58 | "will"{EW} | |
59 | "got to"{EW} { printf("gots'ta");plastc();} |
60 | "I am" printf("I's gots'ta be"); |
61 | "aren't" | |
62 | "am not" | |
63 | "have not" | |
64 | "is not" | |
65 | "are not" printf("ain't"); |
66 | {BW}see{EW} { printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
67 | {BW}are{EW} { printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
68 | {BW}hat{EW} { printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
69 | {BW}shoe printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]); |
70 | {BW}"have to"{EW} | |
71 | {BW}has{EW} { printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
72 | have printf("gots'"); |
73 | {BW}go{EW} | |
74 | {BW}"come over"{EW} | |
75 | {BW}come{EW} { printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
76 | buy printf("steal"); |
77 | {BW}car{EW} { printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
78 | drive printf("roll"); |
79 | {BW}food printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]); |
80 | {BW}eat{EW} { printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
81 | drink printf("guzzle"); |
82 | black | |
83 | negro printf("brother"); |
84 | white printf("honky"); |
85 | nigger printf("gentleman"); |
86 | nice printf("supa' fine"); |
87 | {BW}person printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]); |
88 | [Pp]eople printf("%cucka's", caseify('s')); |
89 | {BW}thing thing(yytext[0]); |
90 | house{EW} { printf("crib");plastc();} |
91 | home printf("plantation"); |
92 | name printf("dojigger"); |
93 | {BW}path printf("%calley",yytext[0]); |
94 | [Cc]omputer printf("%clunker", yytext[0]); |
95 | or printf("o'"); |
96 | president printf("super-dude"); |
97 | "prime minister" printf("prahm mistah"); |
98 | government printf("guv'ment"); |
99 | knew printf("knowed"); |
100 | [Bb]ecause printf("'%cuz", caseify('c')); |
101 | [Yy]our printf("%co'", yytext[0]); |
102 | [Ff]our printf("%coe", yytext[0]); |
103 | got printf("gots"); |
104 | young printf("yung"); |
105 | you printf("ya'"); |
106 | You printf("You's"); |
107 | first printf("fust"); |
108 | police printf("honky pigs"); |
109 | {BW}string printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]); |
110 | {BW}read printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]); |
111 | write printf("scribble"); |
112 | think{EW} { printf("thin'");plastc();} |
113 | with printf("wif"); |
114 | other printf("uthu'"); |
115 | [Tt]hr printf("%c'r", yytext[0]); |
116 | [Tt]h printf("%c", caseify('d')); |
117 | ing printf("in'"); |
118 | {BW}a{EW} { printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
119 | {BW}to{EW} { printf("%ct'",yytext[0]); |
120 | if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ') |
121 | plastc(); |
122 | } |
123 | tion printf("shun"); |
124 | [Aa]lmost printf("%cos'", caseify('m')); |
125 | from printf("fum"); |
126 | [Yy]"ou're" printf("%couse", yytext[0]); |
127 | alright | |
128 | okay printf("coo'"); |
129 | [Aa]nd printf("%cn'", yytext[0]); |
130 | known printf("knode"); |
131 | want printf("wants'"); |
132 | beat printf("whup'ed"); |
133 | ile printf("ah'l"); |
134 | er{EW} { printf("uh");plastc();} |
135 | [a-z]sti printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]); |
136 | tute printf("toot"); |
137 | exp printf("'sp"); |
138 | exs | |
139 | exc printf("'s"); |
140 | {BW}ex printf("%c'es",yytext[0]); |
141 | [ae]ct{EW} { printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); } |
142 | like printf("likes"); |
143 | done | |
144 | did printf("dun did"); |
145 | "kind of" printf("kind'a"); |
146 | women printf("honky chicks"); |
147 | {BW}man{EW} { printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
148 | {BW}men{EW} | |
149 | {BW}mens{EW} { printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
150 | injured printf("hosed"); |
151 | killed | |
152 | dead printf("wasted"); |
153 | good printf("baaaad"); |
154 | open{EW} { printf("jimmey");plastc();} |
155 | opened{EW} { printf("jimmey'd");plastc();} |
156 | {BW}very printf("%creal",yytext[0]); |
157 | per printf("puh'"); |
158 | oar printf("o'"); |
159 | {BW}can printf("%ckin",yytext[0]); |
160 | {BW}just{EW} { printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
161 | [Dd]etroit printf("Mo-town"); |
162 | [Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric" printf("da' cave"); |
163 | {BW}believe printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]); |
164 | [Ii]"ndianapolis" printf("Nap-town"); |
165 | Daniel | |
166 | Dan printf("Liva' Lips"); |
167 | Reagan printf("Kingfish"); |
168 | Ronald{EW} | |
169 | Ron{EW} { printf("Rolo");plastc();} |
170 | John printf("Rastus"); |
171 | Jim printf("Bo-Jangles"); |
172 | pontiff | |
173 | pope printf("wiz'"); |
174 | [Pp]ravda printf("dat commie rag"); |
175 | broken printf("bugger'd"); |
176 | strange{EW} { printf("funky");plastc();} |
177 | dance{EW} { printf("boogy");plastc();} |
178 | ask printf("ax'"); |
179 | {BW}so{EW} { printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
180 | heard printf("'hoid"); |
181 | head printf("'haid"); |
182 | boss printf("main man"); |
183 | money printf("bre'd"); |
184 | [a-z]":" { *(yytext+1) = ','; |
185 | printf("%s dig dis:",yytext); |
186 | } |
187 | amateur printf("begina'"); |
188 | radio printf("transista'"); |
189 | {BW}of{EW} { printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
190 | which | |
191 | what printf("whut"); |
192 | "don't" printf("doan'"); |
193 | does printf("duz"); |
194 | {BW}was{EW} | |
195 | {BW}were{EW} { printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
196 | {BW}understand printf("%cdig",yytext[0]); |
197 | {BW}my printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]); |
198 | again | |
199 | against printf("agin'"); |
200 | {BW}[Ii]{EW} { printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();} |
201 | meta printf("meta-fuckin'"); |
202 | cally printf("c'l"); |
203 | %% |
dc17484a |
204 | |
205 | caseify(c) |
206 | char c; |
207 | { |
208 | if (yytext[0] <= 'Z') |
209 | return (c - ' '); |
210 | else |
211 | return (c); |
212 | } |
213 | |
214 | thing(c) |
215 | char c; |
216 | { |
217 | static short count = 0; |
218 | |
219 | putchar(c); |
220 | switch (count++ % 4) { |
221 | case 0: case 2: |
222 | printf("thang"); |
223 | break; |
224 | case 1: |
225 | printf("doohickey"); |
226 | break; |
227 | case 3: |
228 | printf("wahtahmellun"); |
229 | break; |
230 | } |
231 | } |
232 | expletive() |
233 | { |
234 | static short count = 0; |
235 | static short which = 0; |
236 | |
237 | if (count++ % 4 == 0) { |
238 | switch (which++ % 5) { |
239 | case 0: printf(" What it is, Mama!"); break; |
240 | case 1: printf(" Ya' know?"); break; |
241 | case 2: printf(" Sheeeiit."); break; |
242 | case 3: printf(" Ya' dig?"); break; |
243 | case 4: printf(" Git down!"); break; |
244 | } |
245 | } |
246 | } |
247 | |
248 | /* |
249 | * Bugs: |
250 | * |
251 | * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or: |
252 | * it do, but gets a leading space |
253 | */ |