[filters.git] / jive.l

%{
/*
 *	Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English.
 *	No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
 *
 *	Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole.
 *
 *	Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
 */

%}
%e 1700
%p 4000
%n 700
%k 450
%a 1700
%o 1500
BW [ \t\(]
EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)]
%%
@[Bb]egin(.*)		|
".so ".*$			printf("%s", yytext);
{BW}send			printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]);
program+			printf("honky code");
[Uu]nix				printf("slow mo-fo");
UNIX				printf("dat slow mo-fo");
actual				printf("ak'shul");
{BW}take			printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]);
{BW}took		|
{BW}take[ns]			printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]);
[Mm]exican			printf("%cet-back", caseify('w'));
[Ii]talian			printf("%creaser", caseify('g'));
{BW}big{EW}		{	printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();}
fool				printf("honkyfool");
modem				printf("doodad");
{BW}he{EW}		{	printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();}
"e the"{EW}		|
"a the"{EW}		|
"t the"{EW}		|
"d the"{EW}		{	printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();}
wife			|
woman				printf("mama");
girl				printf("goat");
something			printf("sump'n");
{BW}lie				printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]);
-o-                     	printf("-on rebound-");
[a-z]"."		{	printf("%s", yytext);expletive();}
!                       	printf(".  Right On!");
[Ss]ure				printf("%cho'", yytext[0]);
get				printf("git");
"will have"{EW}		|
"will"{EW}		|
"got to"{EW}		{	printf("gots'ta");plastc();}
"I am"				printf("I's gots'ta be");
"aren't"		|
"am not"		|
"have not"		|
"is not"		|
"are not"			printf("ain't");
{BW}see{EW}		{	printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}are{EW}		{	printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}hat{EW}		{	printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}shoe			printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]);
{BW}"have to"{EW}	|
{BW}has{EW}		{	printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();}
have				printf("gots'");
{BW}go{EW}		|
{BW}"come over"{EW}	|
{BW}come{EW}            {       printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();}
buy				printf("steal");
{BW}car{EW}             {	printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();}
drive				printf("roll");
{BW}food			printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]);
{BW}eat{EW}		{	printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();}
drink				printf("guzzle");
black			|
negro				printf("brother");
white 				printf("honky");
nigger				printf("gentleman");
nice				printf("supa' fine");
{BW}person			printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]);
[Pp]eople			printf("%cucka's", caseify('s'));
{BW}thing			thing(yytext[0]);
house{EW}		{	printf("crib");plastc();}
home				printf("plantation");
name				printf("dojigger");
{BW}path			printf("%calley",yytext[0]);
[Cc]omputer			printf("%clunker", yytext[0]);
or				printf("o'");
president			printf("super-dude");
"prime minister"		printf("prahm mistah");
government			printf("guv'ment");
knew				printf("knowed");
[Bb]ecause			printf("'%cuz", caseify('c'));
[Yy]our				printf("%co'", yytext[0]);
[Ff]our				printf("%coe", yytext[0]);
got				printf("gots");
young				printf("yung");
you				printf("ya'");
You				printf("You's");
first				printf("fust");
police				printf("honky pigs");
{BW}string			printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]);
{BW}read			printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]);
write				printf("scribble");
think{EW}		{	printf("thin'");plastc();}
with				printf("wif");
other				printf("uthu'");
[Tt]hr				printf("%c'r", yytext[0]);
[Tt]h				printf("%c", caseify('d'));
ing				printf("in'");
{BW}a{EW}		{	printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}to{EW}		{	printf("%ct'",yytext[0]);
				if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ')
					plastc();
			}
tion				printf("shun");
[Aa]lmost			printf("%cos'", caseify('m'));
from				printf("fum");
[Yy]"ou're"			printf("%couse", yytext[0]);
alright			|
okay				printf("coo'");
[Aa]nd				printf("%cn'", yytext[0]);
known				printf("knode");
want				printf("wants'");
beat				printf("whup'ed");
ile				printf("ah'l");
er{EW}			{	printf("uh");plastc();}
[a-z]sti			printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]);
tute				printf("toot");
exp				printf("'sp");
exs			|
exc				printf("'s");
{BW}ex				printf("%c'es",yytext[0]);
[ae]ct{EW}		{	printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
like				printf("likes");
done			|
did				printf("dun did");
"kind of"			printf("kind'a");
women				printf("honky chicks");
{BW}man{EW}		{	printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}men{EW}		|
{BW}mens{EW}		{	printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();}
injured				printf("hosed");
killed			|
dead				printf("wasted");
good				printf("baaaad");
open{EW}		{	printf("jimmey");plastc();}
opened{EW}		{	printf("jimmey'd");plastc();}
{BW}very			printf("%creal",yytext[0]);
per				printf("puh'");
oar				printf("o'");
{BW}can				printf("%ckin",yytext[0]);
{BW}just{EW}		{	printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();}
[Dd]etroit			printf("Mo-town");
[Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric"	printf("da' cave");
{BW}believe			printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]);
[Ii]"ndianapolis"		printf("Nap-town");
Daniel			|
Dan				printf("Liva' Lips");
Reagan				printf("Kingfish");
Ronald{EW}		|
Ron{EW}			{	printf("Rolo");plastc();}
John				printf("Rastus");
Jim				printf("Bo-Jangles");
pontiff			|
pope				printf("wiz'");
[Pp]ravda			printf("dat commie rag");
broken				printf("bugger'd");
strange{EW}		{	printf("funky");plastc();}
dance{EW}		{	printf("boogy");plastc();}
ask				printf("ax'");
{BW}so{EW}		{	printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
heard				printf("'hoid");
head				printf("'haid");
boss				printf("main man");
money				printf("bre'd");
[a-z]":"		{	*(yytext+1) = ',';
				printf("%s dig dis:",yytext);
			}
amateur				printf("begina'");
radio				printf("transista'");
{BW}of{EW}		{	printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();}
which			|
what				printf("whut");
"don't"				printf("doan'");
does				printf("duz");
{BW}was{EW}		|
{BW}were{EW}		{	printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();}
{BW}understand			printf("%cdig",yytext[0]);
{BW}my				printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]);
again			|
against				printf("agin'");
{BW}[Ii]{EW}		{	printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();}
meta				printf("meta-fuckin'");
cally				printf("c'l");
%%
plastc()
{
	yyunput(yytext[yyleng-1], yytext);
}

caseify(c)
char c;
{
	if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
		return (c - ' ');
	else
		return (c);
}

thing(c)
char c;
{
	static short	count = 0;

	putchar(c);
	switch (count++ % 4) {
		case 0: case 2:
			printf("thang");
			break;
		case 1:
			printf("doohickey");
			break;
		case 3:
			printf("wahtahmellun");
			break;
		}
}
expletive()
{
	static short	count = 0;
	static short	which = 0;

	if (count++ % 4 == 0) {
		switch (which++ % 5) {
			case 0: printf("  What it is, Mama!"); break;
			case 1: printf("  Ya' know?"); break;
			case 2: printf("  Sheeeiit."); break;
			case 3: printf("  Ya' dig?"); break;
			case 4: printf("  Git down!"); break;
			}
		}
}

main()
{
	yylex();
}

int yywrap()
{
	return 1;
}

/*
 * Bugs:
 *
 * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or:
 * it do, but gets a leading space
 */
Commit	Line	Data
dc17484a	1	%{
	2	/*
	3	* Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English.
	4	* No racial or societal slurs are intended. For amusement only.
	5	*
	6	* Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole.
	7	*
	8	* Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
	9	*/
7f4e9d5e	10
dc17484a	11	%}
	12	%e 1700
	13	%p 4000
	14	%n 700
	15	%k 450
	16	%a 1700
	17	%o 1500
	18	BW [ \t\(]
	19	EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)]
	20	%%
	21	@[Bb]egin(.*) \|
	22	".so ".*$ printf("%s", yytext);
	23	{BW}send printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]);
	24	program+ printf("honky code");
	25	[Uu]nix printf("slow mo-fo");
	26	UNIX printf("dat slow mo-fo");
	27	actual printf("ak'shul");
	28	{BW}take printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]);
	29	{BW}took \|
	30	{BW}take[ns] printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]);
	31	[Mm]exican printf("%cet-back", caseify('w'));
	32	[Ii]talian printf("%creaser", caseify('g'));
	33	{BW}big{EW} { printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	34	fool printf("honkyfool");
	35	modem printf("doodad");
	36	{BW}he{EW} { printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	37	"e the"{EW} \|
	38	"a the"{EW} \|
	39	"t the"{EW} \|
	40	"d the"{EW} { printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();}
	41	wife \|
	42	woman printf("mama");
	43	girl printf("goat");
	44	something printf("sump'n");
	45	{BW}lie printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]);
	46	-o- printf("-on rebound-");
	47	[a-z]"." { printf("%s", yytext);expletive();}
	48	! printf(". Right On!");
	49	[Ss]ure printf("%cho'", yytext[0]);
	50	get printf("git");
	51	"will have"{EW} \|
	52	"will"{EW} \|
	53	"got to"{EW} { printf("gots'ta");plastc();}
	54	"I am" printf("I's gots'ta be");
	55	"aren't" \|
	56	"am not" \|
	57	"have not" \|
	58	"is not" \|
	59	"are not" printf("ain't");
	60	{BW}see{EW} { printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	61	{BW}are{EW} { printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	62	{BW}hat{EW} { printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	63	{BW}shoe printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]);
	64	{BW}"have to"{EW} \|
	65	{BW}has{EW} { printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	66	have printf("gots'");
	67	{BW}go{EW} \|
	68	{BW}"come over"{EW} \|
	69	{BW}come{EW} { printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	70	buy printf("steal");
	71	{BW}car{EW} { printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();}
	72	drive printf("roll");
	73	{BW}food printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]);
	74	{BW}eat{EW} { printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();}
75	drink printf("guzzle");
76	black \|
77	negro printf("brother");
78	white printf("honky");
79	nigger printf("gentleman");
80	nice printf("supa' fine");
81	{BW}person printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]);
82	[Pp]eople printf("%cucka's", caseify('s'));
83	{BW}thing thing(yytext[0]);
84	house{EW} { printf("crib");plastc();}
85	home printf("plantation");
86	name printf("dojigger");
87	{BW}path printf("%calley",yytext[0]);
88	[Cc]omputer printf("%clunker", yytext[0]);
89	or printf("o'");
90	president printf("super-dude");
91	"prime minister" printf("prahm mistah");
92	government printf("guv'ment");
93	knew printf("knowed");
94	[Bb]ecause printf("'%cuz", caseify('c'));
95	[Yy]our printf("%co'", yytext[0]);
96	[Ff]our printf("%coe", yytext[0]);
97	got printf("gots");
98	young printf("yung");
99	you printf("ya'");
100	You printf("You's");
101	first printf("fust");
102	police printf("honky pigs");
103	{BW}string printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]);
104	{BW}read printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]);
105	write printf("scribble");
106	think{EW} { printf("thin'");plastc();}
107	with printf("wif");
108	other printf("uthu'");
109	[Tt]hr printf("%c'r", yytext[0]);
110	[Tt]h printf("%c", caseify('d'));
111	ing printf("in'");
112	{BW}a{EW} { printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();}
113	{BW}to{EW} { printf("%ct'",yytext[0]);
114	if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ')
115	plastc();
116	}
117	tion printf("shun");
118	[Aa]lmost printf("%cos'", caseify('m'));
119	from printf("fum");
120	[Yy]"ou're" printf("%couse", yytext[0]);
121	alright \|
122	okay printf("coo'");
123	[Aa]nd printf("%cn'", yytext[0]);
124	known printf("knode");
125	want printf("wants'");
126	beat printf("whup'ed");
127	ile printf("ah'l");
128	er{EW} { printf("uh");plastc();}
129	[a-z]sti printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]);
130	tute printf("toot");
131	exp printf("'sp");
132	exs \|
133	exc printf("'s");
134	{BW}ex printf("%c'es",yytext[0]);
135	[ae]ct{EW} { printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
136	like printf("likes");
137	done \|
138	did printf("dun did");
139	"kind of" printf("kind'a");
140	women printf("honky chicks");
141	{BW}man{EW} { printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();}
142	{BW}men{EW} \|
143	{BW}mens{EW} { printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();}
144	injured printf("hosed");
145	killed \|
146	dead printf("wasted");
147	good printf("baaaad");
148	open{EW} { printf("jimmey");plastc();}
149	opened{EW} { printf("jimmey'd");plastc();}
150	{BW}very printf("%creal",yytext[0]);
151	per printf("puh'");
152	oar printf("o'");
153	{BW}can printf("%ckin",yytext[0]);
154	{BW}just{EW} { printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();}
155	[Dd]etroit printf("Mo-town");
156	[Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric" printf("da' cave");
157	{BW}believe printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]);
158	[Ii]"ndianapolis" printf("Nap-town");
159	Daniel \|
160	Dan printf("Liva' Lips");
161	Reagan printf("Kingfish");
162	Ronald{EW} \|
163	Ron{EW} { printf("Rolo");plastc();}
164	John printf("Rastus");
165	Jim printf("Bo-Jangles");
166	pontiff \|
167	pope printf("wiz'");
168	[Pp]ravda printf("dat commie rag");
169	broken printf("bugger'd");
170	strange{EW} { printf("funky");plastc();}
171	dance{EW} { printf("boogy");plastc();}
172	ask printf("ax'");
173	{BW}so{EW} { printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
174	heard printf("'hoid");
175	head printf("'haid");
176	boss printf("main man");
177	money printf("bre'd");
178	[a-z]":" { *(yytext+1) = ',';
179	printf("%s dig dis:",yytext);
180	}
181	amateur printf("begina'");
182	radio printf("transista'");
183	{BW}of{EW} { printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();}
184	which \|
185	what printf("whut");
186	"don't" printf("doan'");
187	does printf("duz");
188	{BW}was{EW} \|
189	{BW}were{EW} { printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();}
190	{BW}understand printf("%cdig",yytext[0]);
191	{BW}my printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]);
192	again \|
193	against printf("agin'");
194	{BW}[Ii]{EW} { printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();}
195	meta printf("meta-fuckin'");
196	cally printf("c'l");
197	%%
198	plastc()
199	{
7f4e9d5e	200	yyunput(yytext[yyleng-1], yytext);
dc17484a	201	}
	202
	203	caseify(c)
	204	char c;
	205	{
	206	if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
	207	return (c - ' ');
	208	else
	209	return (c);
	210	}
	211
	212	thing(c)
	213	char c;
	214	{
	215	static short count = 0;
	216
	217	putchar(c);
	218	switch (count++ % 4) {
	219	case 0: case 2:
	220	printf("thang");
	221	break;
	222	case 1:
	223	printf("doohickey");
	224	break;
	225	case 3:
	226	printf("wahtahmellun");
	227	break;
	228	}
	229	}
	230	expletive()
	231	{
	232	static short count = 0;
	233	static short which = 0;
	234
	235	if (count++ % 4 == 0) {
	236	switch (which++ % 5) {
	237	case 0: printf(" What it is, Mama!"); break;
	238	case 1: printf(" Ya' know?"); break;
	239	case 2: printf(" Sheeeiit."); break;
	240	case 3: printf(" Ya' dig?"); break;
	241	case 4: printf(" Git down!"); break;
	242	}
	243	}
	244	}
	245
7f4e9d5e	246	main()
	247	{
	248	yylex();
	249	}
	250
	251	int yywrap()
	252	{
	253	return 1;
	254	}
	255
dc17484a	256	/*
	257	* Bugs:
	258	*
	259	* If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or:
	260	* it do, but gets a leading space
	261	*/