jive.l

   1 %{
   2 /*
   3  *      Lex filter to transform plain English into Jive English.
   4  *      No racial or societal slurs are intended.  For amusement only.
   5  *
   6  *      Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein and Clement Cole.
   7  *
   8  *      Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
   9  */
  10
  11 %}
  12 %e 1700
  13 %p 4000
  14 %n 700
  15 %k 450
  16 %a 1700
  17 %o 1500
  18 BW [ \t\(]
  19 EW [ \t.,;!\?$\)]
  20 %%
  21 @[Bb]egin(.*)           |
  22 ".so ".*$                       printf("%s", yytext);
  23 {BW}send                        printf("%ct'row",yytext[0]);
  24 program+                        printf("honky code");
  25 [Uu]nix                         printf("slow mo-fo");
  26 UNIX                            printf("dat slow mo-fo");
  27 actual                          printf("ak'shul");
  28 {BW}take                        printf("%csnatch",yytext[0]);
  29 {BW}took                |
  30 {BW}take[ns]                    printf("%csnatch'd",yytext[0]);
  31 [Mm]exican                      printf("%cet-back", caseify('w'));
  32 [Ii]talian                      printf("%creaser", caseify('g'));
  33 {BW}big{EW}             {       printf("%cbig ass",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  34 fool                            printf("honkyfool");
  35 modem                           printf("doodad");
  36 {BW}he{EW}              {       printf("%cmah' man he",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  37 "e the"{EW}             |
  38 "a the"{EW}             |
  39 "t the"{EW}             |
  40 "d the"{EW}             {       printf("%c da damn", yytext[0]);plastc();}
  41 wife                    |
  42 woman                           printf("mama");
  43 girl                            printf("goat");
  44 something                       printf("sump'n");
  45 {BW}lie                         printf("%chonky jive",yytext[0]);
  46 -o-                             printf("-on rebound-");
  47 [a-z]"."                {       printf("%s", yytext);expletive();}
  48 !                               printf(".  Right On!");
  49 [Ss]ure                         printf("%cho'", yytext[0]);
  50 get                             printf("git");
  51 "will have"{EW}         |
  52 "will"{EW}              |
  53 "got to"{EW}            {       printf("gots'ta");plastc();}
  54 "I am"                          printf("I's gots'ta be");
  55 "aren't"                |
  56 "am not"                |
  57 "have not"              |
  58 "is not"                |
  59 "are not"                       printf("ain't");
  60 {BW}see{EW}             {       printf("%csee's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  61 {BW}are{EW}             {       printf("%cis",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  62 {BW}hat{EW}             {       printf("%cfedora",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  63 {BW}shoe                        printf("%ckicker",yytext[0]);
  64 {BW}"have to"{EW}       |
  65 {BW}has{EW}             {       printf("%cgots'ta",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  66 have                            printf("gots'");
  67 {BW}go{EW}              |
  68 {BW}"come over"{EW}     |
  69 {BW}come{EW}            {       printf("%cmosey on down",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  70 buy                             printf("steal");
  71 {BW}car{EW}             {       printf("%cwheels",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  72 drive                           printf("roll");
  73 {BW}food                        printf("%ccatfish an' colluhd greens",yytext[0]);
  74 {BW}eat{EW}             {       printf("%cfeed da bud",yytext[0]);plastc();}
  75 drink                           printf("guzzle");
  76 black                   |
  77 negro                           printf("brother");
  78 white                           printf("honky");
  79 nigger                          printf("gentleman");
  80 nice                            printf("supa' fine");
  81 {BW}person                      printf("%csucka'",yytext[0]);
  82 [Pp]eople                       printf("%cucka's", caseify('s'));
  83 {BW}thing                       thing(yytext[0]);
  84 house{EW}               {       printf("crib");plastc();}
  85 home                            printf("plantation");
  86 name                            printf("dojigger");
  87 {BW}path                        printf("%calley",yytext[0]);
  88 [Cc]omputer                     printf("%clunker", yytext[0]);
  89 or                              printf("o'");
  90 president                       printf("super-dude");
  91 "prime minister"                printf("prahm mistah");
  92 government                      printf("guv'ment");
  93 knew                            printf("knowed");
  94 [Bb]ecause                      printf("'%cuz", caseify('c'));
  95 [Yy]our                         printf("%co'", yytext[0]);
  96 [Ff]our                         printf("%coe", yytext[0]);
  97 got                             printf("gots");
  98 young                           printf("yung");
  99 you                             printf("ya'");
 100 You                             printf("You's");
 101 first                           printf("fust");
 102 police                          printf("honky pigs");
 103 {BW}string                      printf("%cchittlin'",yytext[0]);
 104 {BW}read                        printf("%ceyeball",yytext[0]);
 105 write                           printf("scribble");
 106 think{EW}               {       printf("thin'");plastc();}
 107 with                            printf("wif");
 108 other                           printf("uthu'");
 109 [Tt]hr                          printf("%c'r", yytext[0]);
 110 [Tt]h                           printf("%c", caseify('d'));
 111 ing                             printf("in'");
 112 {BW}a{EW}               {       printf("%csome",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 113 {BW}to{EW}              {       printf("%ct'",yytext[0]);
 114                                 if(yytext[yyleng-1]!=' ')
 115                                         plastc();
 116                         }
 117 tion                            printf("shun");
 118 [Aa]lmost                       printf("%cos'", caseify('m'));
 119 from                            printf("fum");
 120 [Yy]"ou're"                     printf("%couse", yytext[0]);
 121 alright                 |
 122 okay                            printf("coo'");
 123 [Aa]nd                          printf("%cn'", yytext[0]);
 124 known                           printf("knode");
 125 want                            printf("wants'");
 126 beat                            printf("whup'ed");
 127 ile                             printf("ah'l");
 128 er{EW}                  {       printf("uh");plastc();}
 129 [a-z]sti                        printf("%cs'i", yytext[0]);
 130 tute                            printf("toot");
 131 exp                             printf("'sp");
 132 exs                     |
 133 exc                             printf("'s");
 134 {BW}ex                          printf("%c'es",yytext[0]);
 135 [ae]ct{EW}              {       printf("%cc'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
 136 like                            printf("likes");
 137 done                    |
 138 did                             printf("dun did");
 139 "kind of"                       printf("kind'a");
 140 women                           printf("honky chicks");
 141 {BW}man{EW}             {       printf("%cdude",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 142 {BW}men{EW}             |
 143 {BW}mens{EW}            {       printf("%cdudes",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 144 injured                         printf("hosed");
 145 killed                  |
 146 dead                            printf("wasted");
 147 good                            printf("baaaad");
 148 open{EW}                {       printf("jimmey");plastc();}
 149 opened{EW}              {       printf("jimmey'd");plastc();}
 150 {BW}very                        printf("%creal",yytext[0]);
 151 per                             printf("puh'");
 152 oar                             printf("o'");
 153 {BW}can                         printf("%ckin",yytext[0]);
 154 {BW}just{EW}            {       printf("%cplum",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 155 [Dd]etroit                      printf("Mo-town");
 156 [Ww]"estern "[Ee]"lectric"      printf("da' cave");
 157 {BW}believe                     printf("%crecon'",yytext[0]);
 158 [Ii]"ndianapolis"               printf("Nap-town");
 159 Daniel                  |
 160 Dan                             printf("Liva' Lips");
 161 Reagan                          printf("Kingfish");
 162 Ronald{EW}              |
 163 Ron{EW}                 {       printf("Rolo");plastc();}
 164 John                            printf("Rastus");
 165 Jim                             printf("Bo-Jangles");
 166 pontiff                 |
 167 pope                            printf("wiz'");
 168 [Pp]ravda                       printf("dat commie rag");
 169 broken                          printf("bugger'd");
 170 strange{EW}             {       printf("funky");plastc();}
 171 dance{EW}               {       printf("boogy");plastc();}
 172 ask                             printf("ax'");
 173 {BW}so{EW}              {       printf("%cso's",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 174 heard                           printf("'hoid");
 175 head                            printf("'haid");
 176 boss                            printf("main man");
 177 money                           printf("bre'd");
 178 [a-z]":"                {       *(yytext+1) = ',';
 179                                 printf("%s dig dis:",yytext);
 180                         }
 181 amateur                         printf("begina'");
 182 radio                           printf("transista'");
 183 {BW}of{EW}              {       printf("%cuh",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 184 which                   |
 185 what                            printf("whut");
 186 "don't"                         printf("doan'");
 187 does                            printf("duz");
 188 {BW}was{EW}             |
 189 {BW}were{EW}            {       printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 190 {BW}understand                  printf("%cdig",yytext[0]);
 191 {BW}my                          printf("%cmah'",yytext[0]);
 192 again                   |
 193 against                         printf("agin'");
 194 {BW}[Ii]{EW}            {       printf("%cah'",yytext[0]);plastc();}
 195 meta                            printf("meta-fuckin'");
 196 cally                           printf("c'l");
 197 %%
 198 plastc()
 199 {
 200         yyunput(yytext[yyleng-1], yytext);
 201 }
 202
 203 caseify(c)
 204 char c;
 205 {
 206         if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
 207                 return (c - ' ');
 208         else
 209                 return (c);
 210 }
 211
 212 thing(c)
 213 char c;
 214 {
 215         static short    count = 0;
 216
 217         putchar(c);
 218         switch (count++ % 4) {
 219                 case 0: case 2:
 220                         printf("thang");
 221                         break;
 222                 case 1:
 223                         printf("doohickey");
 224                         break;
 225                 case 3:
 226                         printf("wahtahmellun");
 227                         break;
 228                 }
 229 }
 230 expletive()
 231 {
 232         static short    count = 0;
 233         static short    which = 0;
 234
 235         if (count++ % 4 == 0) {
 236                 switch (which++ % 5) {
 237                         case 0: printf("  What it is, Mama!"); break;
 238                         case 1: printf("  Ya' know?"); break;
 239                         case 2: printf("  Sheeeiit."); break;
 240                         case 3: printf("  Ya' dig?"); break;
 241                         case 4: printf("  Git down!"); break;
 242                         }
 243                 }
 244 }
 245
 246 main()
 247 {
 248         yylex();
 249 }
 250
 251 int yywrap()
 252 {
 253         return 1;
 254 }
 255
 256 /*
 257  * Bugs:
 258  *
 259  * If a sentence starts with a keyword it doan' get converted, or:
 260  * it do, but gets a leading space
 261  */